Category: Sports
Obnoxious American Gives Snide Opinions on Euro Football, Gets Booted From EU
It is time to take the opportunity to take you folks in England (and you in Scotland and Ireland too for that matter) to task on this thing you call ‘European Football’ God only knows somebody needs to, so I’ll…
Nations Husbands “Only Watch Women’s Sports for Skimpy Outfits”
In a stunning turn around, a spokesman finally admitted that the nation’s husbands watch women’s sports “only for the skimpy outfits.” The statement comes as a shock from the group who has maintained a hardline “for the love of sport”…
Local Angler Suddenly Better Than Long-time Fishing Buddies
Florida native and longtime saltwater angler, Clayton Moore, announced to friends this afternoon that, due to his recent purchase of a fly rod, he is now a better fisherman than they are. “I’ve suspected it for a while but when…
CDC Announces Lower Cases Of Linsainty in 2013
Atlanta – The Center for Disease Control announced today that the terrible fever of Linsanity that swept New York City last year has finally subsided. Doctors say they feared the disease would spread to Houston, but were relived to find…
Husbands’ guide to hosting a winning Super Bowl party
This Sunday is the biggest single day of the year in sports: No, I’m not talking about the Fresno Kennel Club Annual Dog Show taking place this coming Sunday – although granted, that is a very big sporting event. No,…
Humorist Admits to Banned Substances, Lying, Coverup
[Tim Jones is a regular contributor to Glossy News and has his own humor blog called View from the Bleachers. In a shocking press conference, Jones admitted to using banned performance-enhancing substances to help him write his column. Below are…
Packer Backer Quackers
A few months before the start of the Super Bowl game a few years back I returned to the part of the country I am from and made the irritating discovery that everyone there had gone nuts. Normally Wisconsinites are…
Lance Armstrong Apologizes to Supporters, Fellow Cyclists for Getting Caught
CHICAGO, IL – In an open and honest interview with Oprah Winfrey, disgraced former cyclist Lance Armstrong admitted to doping and apologized to fellow professionals and his supporters for getting found out. During the interview, the first part of which…
Harbaugh Mother Still Not Impressed With “Harbowl”
Toledo, Ohio- Sunday night, NFL history was made again when the first set of brothers who are head coaches face off in Super Bowl XLVII. Jim Harbaugh, head coach of the San Fransisco 49ers and John Harbaugh, head coach of…
Woman Narrowly Avoids Animal Cruelty Conviction, Helps Change Law
In a surprise verdict in Stoughton District Court yesterday, Alessa Maslansky, 47, of Canton, Massachusetts, was found not guilty of charges relating to fitting her neighbour’s dog with a shock collar in an effort to prevent what she called ‘its…