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Harbaugh Mother Still Not Impressed With “Harbowl”

Harbaugh Mother Still Not Impressed With “Harbowl”

Toledo, Ohio- Sunday night, NFL history was made again when the first set of brothers who are head coaches face off in Super Bowl XLVII. Jim Harbaugh, head coach of the San Fransisco 49ers and John Harbaugh, head coach of the Baltimore Ravens will meet in New Orleans with the love and support of all their fans, that is, except their mother.

Jackie Harbaugh, mother of the two history making coaches explains how she “never much cared for football.”

“They were always so smart,” she continues.

“Why couldn’t they be the most successful bother-doctors, or open up a law firm. Harbaugh and Harbaugh, they play hardball. That would make such a great commercial.”

RIGHT: The Harbaugh brothers have refused to look eachother in the eyes until one can taunt the other (CLICK TO ENLARGE)

When asked about his wife’s disappointment, Jim and John’s father Jack Harbaugh said, “Eh, you know women. Always nagging, am I right. Hey, let me show you some of my trophies from my playing career, I’ve got some pretty good ones. You know, I was a coach too.”

When asked about which team she would be rooting for, she told reporters “I don’t even know what teams are in the super bowl.”

Sports analysts say that this could make the brothers’ competition for their mother’s affection more prominent than any time before.

“Thanksgiving was already tense enough, I’m not sure what the added pressure from the biggest game of the year will bring,” says sports reporter Woody Paige.

All football experts are saying that the number one x factor of this game will be which son loves his mom more, and is willing to get her attention.

“You know, Judy Beakman, this woman who lives down the street from me. One of her sons is the top insurance salesman in all of Toledo. His face is on the park bench.” Jackie Harbaugh tells the Associated Press. “Her other son, well. I don’t want to sound too star struck, but I actually met him. He is the guy who almost won Biggest Loser last season. Oh I was so excited.”


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I'm a stand-up comedian, author of "The Alphabet of Everything I Hate," an artist of sorts, and a rouge writer who's got a weird thing for oxford commas... like, really weird. Like three x's weird. Follow me @velezerraptor on twitter


One Response to “Harbaugh Mother Still Not Impressed With “Harbowl””

  1. Chante Marie says:

    That's funny but hopefully things will stay the same. I mean you will always fight with your siblings. Its natural.


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