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Hippocratic Oath to Hypocritic Oaf, Damp Man Left to Die

Hippocratic Oath to Hypocritic Oaf, Damp Man Left to Die

A crap-for-brains jobsworth ambulance chief refused to allow his emergency response paramedics to enter six inches of water to treat a man with a fractured spine – as it constituted a breach of heath and safety regulations.

The jinxed Wilf Fuctifino, 95, suffered agonising injuries as he stood in ankle deep water at the Smegmadale Waterpark waiting to take his self-built Scrapheap Challenge jetski out onto the lake when he was hit by a gang of pissed-up yobs joyriding in a stolen powerboat and traveling at 60 knots close to the shoreline in a vandalistic attempt to swamp fishermen with their bow waves. Continue Reading

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Prima Donna Maradona Mugged by Taxman

Prima Donna Maradona Mugged by Taxman

In the surreal world of overpaid celebrity soccer prima donnas Argentina’s national team manager Diego Maradona has been hit, mugged, fleeced, done over and truly dusted by Italian tax police in the country’s northern province of Bonzo : where the former SSC Napoli star is currently undergoing treatment at a health clinic for ‘stress’ after Argentina’s hopes of qualifying for the 2010 World Cup were shattered in a humiliating 3-1 home defeat by their historic archrivals Brazil in Rosario. Continue Reading

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Posted in Sports, Sports Scandals, Sportsfolk1 Comment

Dan Rather: CBS Spiked Biden “60 Minutes” Interview

Dan Rather: CBS Spiked Biden “60 Minutes” Interview

Former CBS Anchor Dan Rather charged today that the network recently spiked a “60 Minutes” interview with Vice President Joe Biden under pressure from the White House. “I heard that Rahm Emanuel previewed the tape and found Biden harder to swallow than day-old habanero chili,” Rather said. Continue Reading

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Posted in Sports Scandals, Strange People0 Comments

War Criminals Pack Wimbledon Stands

War Criminals Pack Wimbledon Stands

The Centre Court at Wimbledon last Sunday saw a plethora of famous faces and porcine celebrity past-its packed into the stands to watch the men’s singles final between Roger Federer of Cuckoo Clock Land and Andy Roddick of the good ole’ US of A. Continue Reading

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Jap Granny Set to Kung Fu Chop Competition

Jap Granny Set to Kung Fu Chop Competition

A 94-years-old Japanese widow and grandmother of six is hoping to beat George Foreman’s record as the oldest fighter to win a World Boxing Association title. Miko Kamikaze, since ‘coming out’ and declaring her FemDom lesbian sexual orientation at the age of 85 is now trying to become the oldest world champion at 94 – several years older than George Foreman was for his heavyweight belt. Continue Reading

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WNHL Combines Canada’s Two Greatest Exports

WNHL Combines Canada’s Two Greatest Exports

Perhaps you’ve heard of Canada, it’s the nation inconveniently separating the contiguous United States from the industrious state of Alaska. Despite their reputation as a nation “not having a reputation,” marketing executives have come up with a product that will finally put Canada on the map, which currently, at least on maps printed in the United States, it is not. Continue Reading

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Hot Soccer Uniforms Promise U.S. Interest in Tepid Sport

Hot Soccer Uniforms Promise U.S. Interest in Tepid Sport

Soccer, long considered the game of little girls and college athletes who can’t get scholarships for a “real sport” makes a lobby once more to break into the American market. This time it’s not aimed at corporate ownership or potential network affiliates, but rather straight to the fans. The STRAIGHT male fans, to be quite specific. Continue Reading

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Barry Bonds Thanks Media for Knee Injury

Barry Bonds Thanks Media for Knee Injury

After three knee surgeries in three months, noted steroidphile Barry “Shut the F Up” Bonds has accosted the gritty media for their obvious causal role in creating his physical injury. Continue Reading

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Posted in Crime, Sportsfolk0 Comments

NAACP Resents NCAA Confusion

NAACP Resents NCAA Confusion

In a public statement issued Thursday the Washington DC chapter of the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People formally renounced any mistaken identity associated with the National College Athletics Association, despite their many similarities. Continue Reading

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