Category: Strange People
Woman Guilty of Murdering Bohemian Rhapsody
INDIANAPOLIS – Following numerous eye witness testimonies, Indianapolis resident Joanne Benson has been found guilty of murdering the 1975 Queen hit, Bohemian Rhapsody, during a 6 minute ordeal inside a local bar. More than 20 people have come forward to…
A Dad’s Rage Causes $150 Worth of Damage
A family home was turned into a war zone when a dad turned bad in the small hours of yesterday morning. Mr Elliot, needing a midnight snack, entered his kitchen in his average suburban home to fix himself a sandwich only to…
Hey Harley Guy, Yeah Loud, You’re a Dick
I didn’t want to say anything at the stop light because I was afraid you’d kill me, and I know that’s part of your mystique, but seriously guy, with those loud pipes and all, you’re a total dick. Period. My…
Charlton Heston Returns From Grave To Protect Colorad Gun Rights Despite Batman Theater Shootings
The iconic movie matinee idol Charlton Heston has risen from the dead like a neo Jesus Christ to stick up for his National Rifle Association buddies after a gunman shot 70 people, killing 12 including children, at a midnight Batman…
Being Attacked By A Horde Of Blood Maddened Zombies Is Not Fun
Hello folks. How are things going for you? That’s good. At the moment I am hold up in an abandoned farmhouse in the Midwest. I have it boarded up and sealed off as much as possible. I don’t do this…
Jedi Masters Just Ain’t What They Used To Be
Sigh! Jedi Masters just ain’t what they used to be! At one time they were of the caliber of Sir Alec Guiness, the original Obi-Wan Kenobi, a proven hero whose name had the extra fortification of being the same as…
Burger King Abdicates to Carl’s Jr.
Wikileaks uncovered details concerning a previously unknown sex tape between the Burger King and Ruby Tuesday Thursday, forcing the Burger King to abdicate his burger empire to Carl’s Jr. “It is with great regret that the Burger King agrees to…
Florida Cracks Up; South Florida Secedes
The U.S. Supreme Court ruled today that the state of Florida can divide into two states. The decision was unanimous. Justice Anthony Kennedy wrote “… severability initiated by a majority of state citizens does not equate to secessionism of said…
Father of 30 Requests, Gets, Break on Child Support
A 33 year old Knoxville, Tennessee man has asked a judge there to ‘give him a break’ in paying his alimony to 11 women with whom he has fathered 30 children (This is true). Desmond Hatchett, who works a minimum…
Osama bin Laden’s Post Mortem Bestsellers
It seems some of our most beloved Middle-eastern dictators penned a few novels before their untimely demises. Momar Khaddafi had written a romance novel before his beating by his own people and his buddy Saddam Hussein before his capture had…