Category: Religionism
Candidates Politicize God’s Subtle Climate Change “Reminder”
GlossyNews.com – “Look, I tried,” God grumbled, “Picked the most populated part of the country, some of the most contentious states in the election and altered both of their campaign routes, but did they listen? Noooo.” In a last, desperate…
This Election Day: Don’t Vote, Stay Home and Pray
GlossyNews.comMy fellow Christians, there is only one immutable truth on this election day. It’s that God’s will reigns supreme and there’s nothing we can do to change it. So don’t get in your car and drive. No, get down on…
Richard Murdock’s Senate Campaign in Disarray As God Comes Out Pro Choice
INDIANAPOLIS – The senate campaign of Indiana’s leading Republican candidate, Richard Mourdock, is reportedly in disarray Tuesday after the Almighty Father in Heaven identified himself as pro-choice. God’s stance on the issue of abortion comes as a particular blow to…
God Puts Global Warming on Hold for A Few Days
INDIANAPOLIS – As temperatures dropped Tuesday to a low of 39° F across the Midwest, God announced that global warming will be put on hold for a few days, while he just tests out a few things. Eager to continue…
Catholic Church To Endorse Masturbation By Males Only
The Catholic church is preparing to make a major announcement concerning changes to their view on sexual behavior. After years of frowning upon, and causing many young Catholics to experience immense guilt, they are now ready to endorse masturbation for…
Hey Mormons, Stop By & Answer a Few Questions
I had a limited understanding of Mormons, those of the Latter Day Saints faith, prior to 2012 when Romney became the Republican nominee… but now that he’s out there front and center, I have some serious questions to ask you…
Catholic Institutions Should NOT be Required to Pay for Birth Control
Thanks to the likes of Sandra Fluke, this debate has reared the back of it’s ugly front-side in the political arena once again. Many argue that it’s unfair to pay taxes to support birth control measures they don’t personally support,…
God Quietly Blessing Other Nations
HEAVEN – According to celestial insiders and various mythical figures, His Lordship and Creator of All Things, Almighty God has been quietly blessing nations other than the United States of America. Even though much of His time – which is…
Mayans Were Right? Religious Scholars Say Gay Marriage Sign End Is Near
Experts in ancient Mayan culture have been prophesizing the world will come to a cataclysmic end in 2012. They base this on detailed interpretations of the ancient Mayan calendar. Thanks to President Obama’s shocking revelation earlier this summer that he…
Iraqi Suicide Bombers Struggle Forming a Union
Today union minded Iraqis formed Suicide Bombers Locale #467 in Baghdad but had to promptly look for a new union hall as a couple of the members brought their work in with them. Sitting outside the smoldering building the surviving…