HEAVEN – According to celestial insiders and various mythical figures, His Lordship and Creator of All Things, Almighty God has been quietly blessing nations other than the United States of America.
Even though much of His time – which is widely believed to be infinite in length – is spent blessing the fifty states, it was reported that God has sought to anoint several other countries, with unconfirmed reports that Norway, Latvia and the small island of Tuvalu were recently delivered from evil.
Right: Image appears courtesy of Heather Gillam. Click to enlarge.
Meanwhile, following an analysis of the top ten most economically stable nations in the world, rumors have circulated that Luxembourg too has been enshrined by The Lord as a beacon of prosperity across the globe.
“He just doesn’t have the heart to tell America,” said an anonymous insider. “After the rough decade that the U.S. has endured at both home and abroad, He thought it better not to say anything – at least until things calm down.”
Many analysts believe that God may have been blessing other nations for decades. The nation of Germany is thought to be widely indebted to God following its 50-year economic recovery following World War II as well as its ultimate re-unification in 1990, and, according to 71% of the population of modern day Kosovo, the now independent country was itself freed by God.
With a large sect of the U.S. population still under the impression that their country enjoys a special place in God’s plans, many Americans are set to remain blissfully unaware of His Lordship’s other consecrations.
However, close to 2 million citizens residing in the hurricane-battered, oil-poluted state of Louisiana are believed to be catching on.