Category: Religionism
Catholic Priests Terrorize Italy’s Youth
Terror in Italy this morning as hundreds of Catholic priests descend upon the Vatican. Italian Mister of Defense Giampaolo di Paola has imposed a strict curfew and parents are being encouraged to keep their children indoors until the threat has…
Westboro Baptist Church Plans to Protest Itself
Westboro Baptist Church members will be staying in Topeka, Kansas this Sunday to stage what they are calling their most important protest to date. They are going to be protesting themselves. A statement issued by Westboro leader, Fred Phelps claims…
Handicapping the Popes
Angelo Scola, 71, Milan, Italy Scola is the archbishop of Milan and has probably the best overall arm in the whole field. Terrific overhand curve, excellent command of his fast ball and a back door slider that drives the scouts…
A Jewish Guy, a Muslim Guy and God Walk Into a Bar
A Jewish guy, a Muslim guy and God walk into a bar… wait a moment… nuts… I can’t remember how that one goes… I’ll have to tell you another one instead: God is busy at his desk in heaven looking…
God Categorically Denies Telling Local Man to Shoot His Family
INDIANAPOLIS – Responding to recent allegations made by the perpetrator himself, His Lordship Almighty God categorically denied Saturday that he had convinced local man Wayne Calzone to murder his wife and two sons. God’s emphatic response comes after 32-year-old Calzone…
Jesus Cancels 2nd Coming Because People Have Screwed Up His Birthday
The long awaited Second Coming of Jesus Christ has been canceled. Jesus Himself has ordered this. Coming down incognito to plan for his much anticipated descension to the same world that had rejected him so many millenia ago, He scoped…
Economic Struggle Forces Mary, Joseph to Merge Christ’s B-day, Christmas Presents Into One
BETHLEHEM – Citing financial hardship amid the ongoing global economic downturn, Mary and Joseph – the parents of Jesus Christ – have conceded that they will have to merge their only son’s birthday and Christmas presents into one. After years…
Christmas Moved to February
After years of complaining by stressed out shoppers and overworked retailers, the Catholic Church has finally moved the year’s most important holiday. From now on, Christmas will be celebrated in early February. Despite the doctrine of papal infallibility, the Church…
Republicans Religious Epiphany After Election “God Wants Us to be Bi-Partisan”
Republicans have been almost unanimous in quoting that a Divine inspiration has descended upon them. Apparently this heavenly apparition was bestowed upon their golden leader, John Boehner. Mr. Boehner, his eyes glowing with enlightened envisionment, has come forth upon his…
Fundi Preachers Scream “Liberal East Coasters” Caused Hurricane Sandy
GlossyNews.com – Fundamentalist preachers have been crowing about how the fury of hurricane Sandy’s was leveled at the upper East Coast because of its sins and its liberal bias regarding the Presidential election. “The wages of sin is death” was…