Category: Society
Over 86% Of Statistics Are Confusing Say 44% Of Public
A report from the National Research Center reveals that 44% of the public are confused by 86% of statistics published. The vast array of statistics being brought up has generated mass public confusion. Many modern structures are built, not out…
Non-Sexual Freinds Seek “Higher Level” w/ Obvious Results (comic)
Ever had that opposite-gender friend you were “just friends” with, and wanted to take it to another level? Well there is another level, but sadly, you’re probably not in the same place. Once you each spill the beans, there’s little…
Study: Temperature of Swimming Pool Not So Bad Once You Get Out
INDIANAPOLIS – A new study from Indiana University has advised casual swimmers that, though it feels really freaking cold when you first wiggle your foot through the water, the pool is actually not so bad once you get out. Insisting…
Interstate Crash Kills 4 People’s Hopes of Getting to Work on Time
FISHERS – A crash on I-69 this morning is believed to have killed as many as four people’s chances of getting to work before their scheduled start time. A 26-year-old woman’s hopes of remaining punctual were killed instantly when her…
State of Indiana Calls In Sick
INDIANAPOLIS – Insisting that it must have caught one of those overnight things that is going around, the entire state of Indiana called off work Monday, significantly affecting production across the Hoosier state. Even though the state’s population didn’t sound…
NRA Head Wayne LaPierre As A Child Was A Real Monster
A recent biography of NRA Fuhrer Wayne LaPierre shows light on his character that reveals why he is so rabid on the topic of guns and their control. The new book entitled ‘LaPierre- Assault Mouth’, contains the following passages: RIGHT:…
“Gun of Passion” Argument Likely to Acquit Zimmerman
SANFORD – The prospects of George Zimmerman’s conviction are looking grim after his defense lawyers presented an incredible, jaw-dropping defense of the former neighborhood watchman: the gun of passion. Zimmerman’s attorneys offered the argument after hearing a long, and often…
Morbidly Obese Man’s Wish to Crowd Surf Ends Disatrilariously
Jacob “Don’t Use My Last Name” Wilberson of Pocatello, Idaho, has had one dream since watching grunge videos in the 90s; to crowd surf. It came to fruition this week as it also came crashing down with as many newtons…
Dark Day for Homophobes on Facebook
MISSISSIPPI— Paula McClure (48) a housewife and occasional churchgoer, was watching television. Not Netflix on a television, but honest to God TV with commercials and all. Today Paula has disconnected from the internet entirely because the Supreme Court ruled that…
Conspiracies Abound, But Here’s Some Undeniable Truth
There are so many conspiracy theories out there, but who knows which are true and which are nothing more than steaming mounds of hot, delicious bullshit. Well Glossy News knows, and that’s why we sent our very own reporter out…