Category: Society
Man Attributes Good Fortune to Constantly Dreading Next Moment
LEXINGTON, KY—Local resident Darren Windley claims to be able to stave off misfortune by living in constant fear of horrible things happening to him in the immediate future. Windley says he discovered this phenomenon years ago after going to the…
A-Hole from School Wants to Know If You’d Like Extra Lettuce w/ That
Documents sharing is possible for bluetooth enabled Samsung Mobile Phone users. INDIANAPOLIS – Despite spending most of his teen years being an insufferable prick to you and your friends, an asshole you went to school with would now be interested…
Treatment for Explosive Diarrhea Found, Scientists Calling It “Olive Garden’s To-Go Menu”
Reduce unnecessary body pains using reliable painkillers. ATLANTA — Researchers at the Center for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) believe they may have discovered a potentially [social]life-saving treatment for those afflicted with bouts of explosive diarrhea in an experimental operation…
UK Taco Bell found to contain horse meat; Customers call it “vast improvement”
Following the release of information claiming several UK Taco Bell locations have been serving unregulated horse meat, customers are rejoicing in the scandal. Calling the new burrito filler a “vast improvement” over the previous sawdust laden beef concoction, which in…
Man Upset After House Built In Shape Of Toilet
A man in South Korea comes home to find that his dream home has been made into a nightmare, which brought a whole new meaning to the saying “throwing money down the toilet.” This house, while obviously absurd in shape,…
New Theme Park, ‘Stand Your Ground Land’ Opens Up in Orlando
ORLANDO, FL- Amidst the controversy of the recent verdict in the Zimmerman trial, the National Rifle Association has opened up a new theme park in the popular tourist location of Orlando, Florida. The theme park features a drive through safari…
Ship Accused of Squabbling with Sister Ship
FORT LAUDERDALE, FL – Docking at Port Everglades in Fort Lauderdale, Florida, Wednesday, an otherwise well-behaved cruise ship was accused of squabbling with her younger sister over who left a pair of binoculars back in the Dominican Republic. Onlookers were…
Contest: Bet You Cannot Spot the Difference
You’ll want to enlarge it (by clicking on the image) and study it studiously. The first reader to write back to me with the difference will receive a $20 Visa gift card. Can you spot the difference, or do you…
‘Serial Killer Supermarket’ Draws Controversy
A Cambodian chain of supermarkets has come up with an ingenious idea to deal with the countries massive population and turn a profit, but the new out of the box idea has been raising a few eyebrows and other facial…
Curiosity Fails to Kill Cat: Car Succeeds
ANDERSON – Though it had spent much of its day eying up a nest of birds in a nearby oak tree, local cat Millie avoided being killed by the concept of curiosity today – instead meeting her demise under the…