Category: Society
President Obama Promotes Healthcare.gov with Jackass-Style Stunt Reel
WASHINGTON, D.C.—“I’m Barack Obama, the 44th President of the United States of America, and this is Jackass.” So begins the president’s latest viral video—a 22-minute series of dangerous and immature stunts styled after the MTV show “Jackass.” The video is…
Newborn Could Face up to 75 Years
According to sources, newborn Daniel Briggs could face up to 75 years. For the duration of his sentence, he is to live in an environment where people are known to be arbitrarily cruel, outrageously hypocritical and condemn others on the…
Woman Sells Set of Dinosaur Cheese Puffs for $495 on eBay
Helen Crumples is almost $500 richer today after accepting the highest bid on eBay for her “dinosaur” cheese puff collection. The set of five Chester’s Puffcorn snacks, which look amazingly like miniature brontosauruses, were discovered by Helen while tidying up…
Little Boy Disguises Self as Grown Man for Party
KNOXVILLE, TN—In an attempt to blend in, local barista Wes Dinkins assumed the identity of an adult human being for the duration of a recent social gathering. Stifling his enthusiasm about video games and how often he plays them, he…
CNN Caught Scanning Glossynews.com For Story Ideas
Once again, the mainstream media has swooped in to steal our precious exclusive. We reported it first, but CNN & reality had a different idea when they took the story from the realm of satire into public consciousness. These stories…
American Babies Now ‘Made in China’
Nowadays, Americans would be hard-pressed to find an item for sale that doesn’t have the ‘Made in China’ stamp on it. Go to any box store and chances are whatever you are buying was either manufactured, processed, assembled, or designed…
Aaron Hernandez Murder Weapon Found
Gainesville, Florida – Following the surprise release of a photo showing former New England Patriots tight end, Aaron Hernandez holding a BS-47 assault rifle, local police released a statement Wednesday that they have located the weapon used to kill Odin…
Arizona State Legisislature Votes To Change State Motto, Slogan
Giddy with the joy of Christ at successfully legalizing state sponsored endorsement of dark age phobias and insanities the Arizona State Legislature voted to to change the State slogan and motto along with other state designations and affiliations.
I Guess I Have an Irrational Fear of Tubes Going in my Urethra
Guest writer Doug Fedler Call me crazy, but I just don’t like the idea of having tubes inserted into my urethra. I guess everyone’s got their quirks. Maybe my thinking is a little cluttered since I’m about to have my…
Pirates Found With Dead Navy Seals on Maersk Alabama
Seychelles police have confirmed three deceased Ethiopian pirates were found along with two retired Navy Seal security personnel discovered dead on the Maersk Alabama this last weekend. The three pirates carried Ethiopian passports and appeared to be dressed as Captian…