Category: Society
Study Proves Marble Tile is Very Heavy
When you’re married, there will be times (usually during 4th quarter of a tied game)that a woman says, “Something something something would brighten up the room, don’t you think?” Wait until the game is over, and then go out to…
Sesame Street Makes Top Ten List of Dangerous Places
Sesame Street is no longer the wholesome neighborhood street that children and their families flock to to enjoy an afternoon of counting and rhyming and learning some fun educational facts. It is becoming more and more a place where you…
San Francisco McDonalds Shifts Focus from Food to Toys
SAN FRANCISCO, California (Glossy News) – With the recent call of progressive groups in San Francisco demanding that McDonald’s no longer be allowed to include a toy with every happy meal, the company has shifted focus away from food and…
Cape Ground Squirrel Study: Masturbation Necessary to Avoid STDs
A recent study has concluded that male Cape ground squirrels have a reason for being one of the most prolific wanking species on the planet. They are ensuring the healthiness of their privates. One has to wonder if these study…
Jehovah’s Witness Probe Widens, Officials Going Door-to-Door
Tallahatchie County DA Kirk Shatner gazes into the distance when pressed on his crusade against the Jehovah Witness organization. “Oh yeah, I know what some people say. That I’m picking on an unpopular minority in blatant appeal to the fundamental…
Yet Another Outbreak of Rabies at FOX News
MINOT, North Dakota (GlossyNews) — The recent outbreak of rabies, the madness inducing disease spread by biting that has infected the major stars of Fox News Station, has spread far beyond the confines of their offices. In a new evolution…
Entire Population Blocs Heading for Hills to Avoid Biometric “Tech”
Technological advances in how people are doing their business these days have prompted one of the largest exoduses in America. Entire close-knit groups, mainly large families banding together, are pooling their resources and heading for the rugged wilderness found in…
If McDonald’s Gets Gov Health Insurance Exemption, Who’s Next?
Rules are made to be broken and it appears that may be happening in the case of the fast food giant McDonald’s when it comes to complying with the new rules handed down under the Health Care Reform Bill. We…
Budget Cutbacks Release Hoards of Idiot Nephews
NEW BRIGHTON, Pennsylvania (BNSE) — State and local law enforcement agencies were placed on high alert today as thousands of idiot nephews began massing around the state in the wake of massive layoffs from state agencies and local businesses due…
Hollywood Judge Sentences Lindsay Lohan to Gas Chamber
HOLLYWOODLAND, California (GlossyNews) — After failing several court mandated drug and alcohol tests that were part of her sentencing arrangement in a recent DUI case involving drugs, actress Lindsay Lohan has found herself once again in the celebrity spotlight while…