Hollywood Judge Sentences Lindsay Lohan to Gas Chamber

HOLLYWOODLAND, California (GlossyNews) — After failing several court mandated drug and alcohol tests that were part of her sentencing arrangement in a recent DUI case involving drugs, actress Lindsay Lohan has found herself once again in the celebrity spotlight while back in front of the infamous L.A. Judge Tyrone Harding.

The recent conviction was tabloid headlines after photos surfaced showing the actress being asked to walk a straight line by a L.A. Sheriff’s Department officer while the camera captured six hypodermic needles dangling from her arm that she forgot to remove before getting behind the wheel.

A recent 15 day stint behind bars along with a media fueled trip to rehab where the 23 year old actress claimed she was ‘cured and couldn’t wait to get back to serious work,’ was again big tabloid news. Failing a series of drug tests administered by the L.A. Sheriff’s Department, the annoying actress was cited with an immediate arrest warrant late on Monday after the test results were given to Judge Harding.

A crying and disheveled Lohan arrived in court with her mother, three attorneys, her dog Cuddles, a pet parakeet named Smithers, and of course, her personal hair stylist. Throngs of her favorite paparazzi and tabloid reprters clogged the entrance to the Hall of Justice as a crying and handcuffed Lohan was lead in, and then took her seat at the defense table.

Immediately, Judge Harding rescinded Lohan’s bail citing a violation of probation and fined her the maximum amount of $1,200 dollars. Upon resentencing, the usual quiet courtroom was the scene of pandemonium as Harding sentenced Lohan to the gas chamber in San Quentin, California with an execution date set for April, 2011. According to veteran court bailiff Rusty Hamilton, it was the first time in the court’s history that the packed courtroom unanimously applauded.

An open mouthed Lohan was stunned and repeatedly ask her attorney’s if this really meant the judge made a mistake ahd he was actually was referring to director Quentin, as in Tarrantino.

In a press release, Lohan’s media specialist claims it all was a big mistake and the repenting actress has promised once again to be on her very best behavior from now on.

A tearful Lohan was hustled away by jail guards, given a routine body cavity search in courtroom hallway in front of the paparrazi, and then she boarded a state bus for the long ride to San Quentin. Upon her arrival she was then lead to a very nice all concrete room with no windows, a toilet that doubles as a sink and dining table on stark Death Row.

Author: Bargis Tryhol

Hello, I'm Bargis Tryhol and currently live somewhere in the southern part of the USA. I have been writing humor for quite a few years and love to make fun of the liberals who in recent years seem to be falling by the wayside in droves. My online following is fairly large now, so a big 'shout out' to all who have embraced my lopsided humor. I do appreciate the support. You can visit my website Satire World for more outrageous humor.... SatireWorld.com Comments or retribution? Bargistryhol@aol.com

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