Category: Society
Victoria’s Secret Unveils Dubai-Chic Line, Not Literally
Victoria’s Secret has announced that it will be opening one of its first shops outside of North America—in Dubai of all places. While we can’t speak for the sanity of the folks who take care of expansion projects for the…
Thanksgiving Over; Needy Back in Storage
Preliminary reports say this year’s Project ISFC exceeded all expectations. Project I’m So Freaking Compassionate, begun several years ago in Southern California, has now expanded to most of the United States. This year, Thanksgiving meals were served cafeteria fashion to…
Boy 14, Cracks Skull in Attempt to Board Hogwarts Express
London, England (Glossy News) – Paramedics arrived at London King’s Cross Railway Station on September 1st at 11:13 a.m. after a teenage boy of fourteen years cracked his scull in an attempt to get to platform 9¾ from the very…
Glossy News Guide: The Five People You Will Meet In Hell
DETROIT, Mich. (Glossy News) — Coming years after the much lauded success of his beloved novel, “The Five People You Meet In Heaven,” author Mitch Albom now returns to the best seller charts with “The Five People You Meet In…
‘Wannabe’ Terrorist Punk’d In Portland… Aw, Snap
PORTLAND, Ore GlossyNews.com — Taking their cue from the genius of Ashton Kutcher, the FBI staged an elaborate prank on a Corvallis, OR teenager who thought he was part of a Jihadist plot to kill Christmas. Mohamed Osman Mohamud, 19,…
U.S. Gastronomical Travel Guide For Gourmet Zombies
Fans of brains everywhere, rejoice! Here is the first in-print guide to fine brain dining wherever you may be in the US. Our ghoulish researchers have spent many dark, moonlit nights partaking of the cuisine available throughout this great land….
Chicago High School Replaces Gym Equipment with Nintendo Wii Stations
Chicago, Ill – GlossyNews.com – Chicago’s George Washington High School is the first in the nation to bring its gymnasium into the 21st century by replacing all of its gym equipment, including balls, bats, paddles and nets with two big-screen…
Buying Grandkid Toys on Credit Burying Seniors in Debt
More and more seniors are seeing their overall debt to income ratio increase due to the overwhelming urge to buy toys for their grand kids on credit to keep them in their good graces. According to a study, a large…
Boy 16, Builds Life-Size Anatomically Correct Girl From Legos
Seattle, Ore. (Glossy News) – Mavis Gillard almost fainted when she opened her son’s bedroom door and caught David Jr. with what appeared to be a naked girl in bed. A first she wanted to scream bloody murder, but on…
Mitre Spins as Vatican Does Safety Dance U-Turn
The mother Church of Christendom was roiled this week by excerpts from a new book by Pope Benedict LVMCIII. The book, “Because I said So” has stirred controversy due to several passages wherein the Pontiff clarifies condom use. Somewhere in…