Category: Society
European E-Coli: Will Children Ever Eat Greens Again?
BRUSSELS – GlossyNews.com– Veggie Exporters Without Borders is appealing for calm over an E. coli outbreak that has Europeans fearing for their lives. Now, even Russia, a country with few rules and regulations, has decided to slap a ban on…
Matzo Ball Drowns In Its Own Soup
BROOKLYN, NY—Police found the remains of a 9-day-old Matzo ball in a Park Slope apartment building after neighbors complained about a strong odor coming from 40J. “It was the undeniable smell of chicken broth and parsley,” describes a downstairs neighbor,…
Doomsday Prophet Admits Using LOST to Predict Rapture
Harold Camping, whose prediction about the Rapture failed to materialize, has admitted using clues gleaned from the now canceled ABC series LOST to calculate the date. “I don’t know what went wrong,” he lamented, wiping the tears from his eyes…
Tennessee School Board Asks: “Isn’t Fact just a Theory?”
Social unrest was spurred this week when the Tennessee politicians began to challenge the school board biology text book selection. Many conservative politicians believed that the book was very one sided and treated several theories as fact.
Airports to Employ Eunuchs for Enhanced-Invasive Screening
New York – GlossyNews.com – According to informed sources the government has come up with an imaginative solution to the problem of invasive image scanning at airports. Many travelers, especially women, have complained about the fact that the new scanning…
Radical New Self-Help Book Has Readers Beating Themselves Up
A new self-help book by previously unknown psychiatrist and author, Dom N. Adeur, Ph.D. is quickly making its way up the NY Times Bestseller List. It’s OK to Smack Your Inner Child has been hailed by Dr. Adeur’s peers as…
State Sues for Intellectual Infringement in One Mississippi, Two Mississippi…
Jackson, MS- GlossyNews.com -Governor Haley Barbour of Mississippi announced today that the State of Mississippi now claims all rights to the use of “Mississippi” between any number while counting out loud. In today’s press conference, the four-term governor said that…
Crap, I Totally Blew Off the Day of Doom
Well, I had every good intention of giving the End of the World* my undivided attention. Unfortunately, I had several things on my to do list that took precedence and, before I knew it, the day was upon me. Looked…
Plastic Surgeon Fixes Wrong Nose
Tulsa, OK – GlossyNews.com – In one of the more bizarre cases of alleged medical malpractice in recent years, plastic surgeon Rolando Alverez performed a complete surgical rhinoplasty (nose job) on the wrong patient at St.Sebastian’s Hospital in Tulsa OK…
Pentagon Study Finds Atheist in Foxhole
Deputy Secretary of Defense Scott Turlock spoke from the Pentagon this week to announce news that portends even more paradigm challenges for the United States military forces. “Well we don’t know how he got there either. Our plate’s pretty full…