Category: Society
Obamacare to Include Mood Ring Mandate?
As the few remaining Tea Party freshmen and ‘Blue dog’ Democrats who are not embroiled in sex scandals stress their fiscal hawk credentials, some say it was inevitable that Obamacare would eventually feel the heat, and not just due to…
It’s Not Easy Robbing Banks These Days
“God I hate banks,” said the young businessman who was taking his lunch hour to deposit his pay cheque while the company he had started with worked out the details of his direct depositing. “Why the hell do we have…
Woman Injured After Practicing Faulty Feng Shui
Gladys Schumwerner of Columbus, Ohio suffered a broken finger and several lacerations after the laughing Buddha she attached to a wire hanging from her ceiling fell, hitting her squarely in the left hand. It was the third in several unfortunate…
Baptist Minister Performs Exorcism on Stock Market
New York, NY – GlossyNews.com – “DEMONS OF VOLATILITY, COME OUT!” So declaimed the Rev. Buster Shillerberg yesterday afternoon on the steps of the New York Stock Exchange. The diminutive Reverend Shillerberg spoke in loud oracular tones that rolled like…
Disclaimers & Vegetarians – One (Correct) Opinion
Sometimes you’ll see the disclaimer, “No animals were harmed during the making of this film”, at the end of a movie. I think that’s a rather bold statement. I’m watching the movie thinking, “I know for a fact around the…
Newlywed Couple Fears That Honeymoon May Never End
SARASOTA, FL – GlossyNews.com — After nearly four years of marriage, Nathan and Jennifer Reed are starting to worry that their proverbial “honeymoon” might never end, despite several attempts to take each other for granted and argue over petty differences….
Study: Careless Driving Deemed Perfectly Safe
Here’s a little guide to help ensure that you’re driving like the rest of America. DON’T BE AWARE! While driving, keep in mind that everyone else on the road should be looking out for you. Therefore, there is no reason…
Elderly Pensioner OD’s on LOST DVD Box Set
Akron, Ohio – GlossyNews.com – Ralph McFarden spent thirty years in the Sacramento sewer system. The waste engineer reportedly had a long and satisfying career with the Akron Waste Management Department before finally retiring to his modest home overlooking the…
Shocking: “Birds And Bees” Explained Around The World
At some point in every parent’s life, there comes a time when they must explain that very fundamental but mysterious and appealing fact of life to their offspring–the sex act. (Image courtesy of the brilliant folks at SaintGasoline.com.) Not an…
Get Drunk… It’s for the Children
A lot of different communities have started a recycling program, commonly called “Cans for Kids.” The concept is to collect and recycle aluminum cans and have the proceeds go towards things such as children’s education. Many of these programs have…