Matzo Ball Drowns In Its Own Soup

BROOKLYN, NY—Police found the remains of a 9-day-old Matzo ball in a Park Slope apartment building after neighbors complained about a strong odor coming from 40J. “It was the undeniable smell of chicken broth and parsley,” describes a downstairs neighbor, who wishes to remain nameless due to troubles with the Matzahfia.

Apparently, the Matzo ball had been left in bowl of soup and forgotten about in the back of the refrigerator. Detective James Bellingham of the NYPD says there’s no telling how long the poor Matzo ball had been in there.

“We suspect it had been in the soup since the beginning of Passover, but we can’t know for sure because of the deteriorated state it was in by the time we found it.

At that point, the fried ball of dough was devoid of any spherical properties,” the Detective told reporters on Thursday, “It’s a messy situation, but we are doing our best to find out how this could happen to an innocent Matzo ball.

Our hearts go out to the Manischewitz and Matzo Meal families during this difficult time.” Jewish community members are unable to comment at this time because their mouths are too full of bagels and challah.

Author: Ashley Watson

Ashley Watson is a professional writer and amateur stand-up comedian. In her spare time, she enjoys being stalked on Facebook, playing the role of scapegoat for friends who can't seem to see the value in hiring a decent therapist, and finally, pretending that there's someone out there for her, just waiting for that perfect moment to dispel all the myths about how shitty it is to be dating in your mid-thirties.

3 thoughts on “Matzo Ball Drowns In Its Own Soup

  1. Anyone can write about matzo ball soup, but with phrases like “the fried ball of dough was devoid of spherical properties” you took it to a whole new literary level. Kudos.

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