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Queen Prepares To Have Pope “Over For Tea”

Queen Prepares To Have Pope “Over For Tea”

PRAGUE, CZECH REPUBLIC — Barely had the Spray-Shine dried on his glittery new red pumps, than the newly incarnated Card. Ratziger, as Pope Benedict XVI used to be known to friends, began negotiations for a visit from the Holy See to the Queen of England and Her See. The final Is were dotted and Ts were crossed with the Pope finally agreeing to supply the Royal Tea. Continue Reading

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Posted in Religionism0 Comments

Vaca Photo Ruined by Spiderman Toy Bragging

Vaca Photo Ruined by Spiderman Toy Bragging

If there’s one thing I love more than anything, it’s a “thing”. Can’t tell you what it is, but it’s probably something, and something I really, really love. What I can tell you is what I love more than that, and it’s another thing. Not just “another thing” but the other thing, which is the joy of a random toy, regardless of where it is. This article is in edification of that random, second thing. Continue Reading

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Posted in Kidz Zone0 Comments

Dr. Rick Warren in Orbit with God

Dr. Rick Warren in Orbit with God

NASA Headquarters, Houston, TX –by BobZaguy Evangelical pastor Rick Warren has taken on the quest that will bring him into planetary orbit, the ultimate God-like experience. This is an attempt to orbit with the planets, hoping to replace Pluto, whose name is an alternate for Hades, the Greek god of the Underworld. Continue Reading

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Posted in Religionism0 Comments

Brownie Guides Now Terrorist Suspects

Brownie Guides Now Terrorist Suspects

Two Smegmadale Police Community Support Officers are under investigation after they allegedly stopped and searched a six-year-old Pakistani Muslim girl using their unconstitutional anti-terrorism powers as an excuse for harassing behaviour that stinks of racism. Continue Reading

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Posted in Kidz Zone, War Zone1 Comment

Bed Sharing ‘Bad for your Health’, Says Bummer Council

Bed Sharing ‘Bad for your Health’, Says Bummer Council

The results of a three year survey commissioned by the Ministry for Wasting Time & Money has concluded couples should consider sleeping apart for the good of their health (mental as well as physical) and overall emotional relationship. Continue Reading

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Posted in Health0 Comments

GOP Leader Tells Cancer Victim to “Beg for Charity”

GOP Leader Tells Cancer Victim to “Beg for Charity”

US House Minority Whip Eric Cantor (R-Va.) wins the award for Scumbag Politician of the Week – a widely contested prize around Congress these past few years – with both Democrats and Republics running neck and neck in the qualifying heats. Continue Reading

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Posted in Health, Society1 Comment

Yob Fined for Getting Cat Stoned on Ganja

Yob Fined for Getting Cat Stoned on Ganja

A teenage yob who was filmed on a mobile phone forcing a neighbour’s terrified tomcat to inhale cannabis while captive in a clear plastic laundry bag – before swinging it round his head like a Gaucho’s bolas – was slapped with an Asbo to stay away from animals for 10 years today. Continue Reading

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Posted in Human Interest, Strange People0 Comments

Yob Artificial Brain Prototype Test OK

Yob Artificial Brain Prototype Test OK

A detailed functional artificial human brain will be available on the National Health Service within the next year – if we don’t all die of Sneezy Pig virus this autumn – or the effects of the toxic anti-flu vaccine – according to scientists and technicians assigned to TV’s Scrapheap Challenge research lab’s. Continue Reading

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Posted in Health0 Comments

Garbage Men: (Cost) Effective Substitute for Teachers

Garbage Men: (Cost) Effective Substitute for Teachers

Thousands of untrained staff – including night club bouncers, postmen, driving instructors and even binmen – are being used as “cheap labour” to cover for absent teachers according to a report leaked by disaffected snitches at the Ministry of Education. Continue Reading

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Posted in Kidz Zone, Society0 Comments

Killer Biscuits Banned in EU Coffee Shops

Killer Biscuits Banned in EU Coffee Shops

The latest piece of asinine legislature to emerge from the EU’s Ministry for Wasting Time and Money in Brussels involves HSE risk assessments for every possible human function and endeavour – from brewing a cup of tea or coffee to opening a can of soup – to cleaning your teeth and gargling – to wiping one’s arse and – to – believe it or not – a risk assessment ‘danger rating’ index for eating biscuits. Continue Reading

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Posted in Health, Society1 Comment

Pensioner Crushed Under Pile of Old Tat

Pensioner Crushed Under Pile of Old Tat

The body of an elderly shopaholic was found underneath piles of cut price car boot sales tat, chrome-plated bric-a-brac and other similar cheap materialistic crap and bling items – which crushed her to death, an inquest heard today at a Smegmadale Coroner’s Court. Continue Reading

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Posted in Human Interest0 Comments

Palin to Cook eBay Auction $63.5K Fundraiser Dinner

Palin to Cook eBay Auction $63.5K Fundraiser Dinner

WASILLA, ALASKA — A woman defense contractor in Huntsville, Ala., won the “Dangerous” Dining with Sarah Palin eBay auction — her bid was $63,500.

Auction details only allow the winning bidder to bring three friends to the dinner. Palin’s spokeswoman said “the former Governor and former First Dude Todd are thrilled that, above all, our wounded warriors are being recognized and honored, and will receive all of the leftover stew. It is a small token of appreciation for their sacrifices on behalf of our great nation.” Continue Reading

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Posted in Politics, Strange People1 Comment

Ask Hank: Best Man Blues

Ask Hank: Best Man Blues

Dear Hank,
I just got snubbed for the “Best Man” spot in my best friend’s wedding. He promised it to me years ago, and then when he got engaged I reminded him I had the job. He laughed it off, but agreed. Continue Reading

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Posted in Society0 Comments

Innovative Indonesia: One Sharia Step Forward – Two Humane Steps Back

Innovative Indonesia: One Sharia Step Forward – Two Humane Steps Back

In an all-out attempt to catch up with the 21st Century and their high-tech’ Occidental peers, the foot-dragging Muslim community of Sumatra’s basket case Aceh province seem to be stuck in the Islamic year of 1430 and have just taken a further step backwards into their barbaric past by unanimously approving a numpty Sharia law sentencing convicted adulterers to be stoned to death – with half bricks, cobbles or any other hefty lump of throwable geology. Continue Reading

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Posted in Religionism, Society, Strange People0 Comments

Knackers to Knockers: Tranny Prisoner Wins Appeal

Knackers to Knockers: Tranny Prisoner Wins Appeal

The refusal to move a pre-operative transsexual prisoner from a men’s jail to a women’s prison is a violation of her human rights, according to a High Court judge. Deputy Judge Fellatia Faggorotti quashed Justice Secretary Jack Straw’s decision to keep the 27-year-old – who is now known as ‘Marion’ – in a male prison. Continue Reading

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Posted in Crime, Human Interest, Strange People1 Comment

New Malpractice Defense Tactic: Doctors Told to Fess Up

New Malpractice Defense Tactic: Doctors Told to Fess Up

Washington, D.C. – On the advice of their attorneys and malpractice insurance company executives, doctors are now stepping forward and admitting their mistakes, hoping that a sincere apology and a couple of bucks will make multi-million dollar malpractice and wrongful death lawsuits magically disappear. “Folks who have erroneously lost an arm or a leg, or even a kidney because of a mix-up in charts know that they can’t grow those things back and they can’t buy a new limb or organ—they just want someone to own up to the mistake and say, ‘look, I’m human, I’ve erred,’ said Joe Shnuck, Chief Surgeon at Washington General Hospital. Continue Reading

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Posted in Health0 Comments

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