Category: Kidz Zone
Pinewood Derby Teaches Valuable Lessons in Cheating, Abandonment
My boys had their first Pinewood Derby. As I sat there it dawned on me what’s really being taught; all the ugliness of life in one 7-ounces block of resentment. My older son had what I can charitably describe as…
YOLO Demise Discovered; Most Adherents Deceased (Part 1)
YOLO, short for “you only live once”. Easily the “don’t worry, be happy” of 2011, is now gone, all but forgotten. But why is this phrase out of use? A recent study finds it’s because most who lived by it…
KKK Allows More Gays than Boy Scouts
The Boy Scouts of America has announced that they are considering thinking about the possibility of forming an exploratory committee to allow gays among their ranks. But the Klan has been doing that for decades. Boy Scouts of America has…
Toddler Avidly Ruining Around Three Books A Week
INDIANAPOLIS – Despite the inherent allure of mainstream video games, Marvel action figures and children’s television, 3-year-old Nathan LaPlant still manages to find the time to graffiti, on average, three books a week, say the child’s parents. While his older…
Non-Booby Barbie Attracting Attention
A while back Mattel Inc. announced that it would be ‘downsizing’ their trademark, their symbol, their meal ticket, the Barbie doll. Barbie, that picture perfect plastic woman doll who represented many a young girl’s dreams of femininity. “Downsizing’ in this…
Popular Editor Fired From Part-time Mall Santa Job
Seattle, WA – (SatireWorld.com) – At the Dingleberry Regional Mall there was a bit of excitement during the first official day of the holiday shopping season…Mall officials fired Santa Claus! The Christmas holiday season in this part of Washington state…
Center of Universe Needs Diaper Changing
INDIANAPOLIS – The center of local couple Jeff and Angela Paulson’s universe needed its diaper changing Saturday, after defecating all over its Pampers slip-on. Even though it is routinely described as the “greatest thing in the world”, the multicellular organism…
Big Bird Found Dead, Romney Questioned
The Muppets character Big Bird was found dead today in his duplex cage on New York City’s Upper East Side. New York City police have not announced a cause of death, but according to anonymous insiders, the 43-year old television…
Millions of Children Suddenly Disappear and Reappear While Getting Dressed
Parents are still coping with the devastation left by this morning’s widespread disappearance of children across the US. Panic swept the nation as millions of households counted the youngest members of their families among those missing. “He was there one…
Historic Accord Reached in Siblings’ Bitter Territorial Dispute
In major concessions by both sides, boy agrees to stop touching sister’s stuff in exchange for her ceasing to refer to him as “Snot Face.” SPOKANE, WA – Negotiators are expressing hopes for a new era of reconciliation and peaceful…