Archive | Human Interest

Woman Claims Alter Ego Wrote Pornography without Her Permission

Woman Claims Alter Ego Wrote Pornography without Her Permission

NIAGARA FALLS, N.Y. (Glossy News) — K. S. Trojan, famous author of “All Things Funny” is going after her alter ego for penning several pornographic poems without her knowledge or permission, and publishing them under the name Krazy K.

Asked how Ms. Trojan discovered the poems or learned that they were written by her alter ego, she merely stated that she found the poems hidden in a file in her word processing program, entitled “naughty bits.” When she opened one of them, Trojan could not believe her eyes. There in print were some of her deepest, darkest secrets — things only she could have known. Continue Reading

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc, Human Interest0 Comments

“Seven Brides For Seven Brothers” to be Remade… Seven Times

“Seven Brides For Seven Brothers” to be Remade… Seven Times

HOLLYWOOD, Calif. (Glossy News) — The rights for the 1954 movie Seven Brides for Seven Brothers , long ago lost, have fallen into Public Domain. As such, it can be remade or have its title used by anyone without having to pay any royalties to the original writer or production company. Seven different film producers are scrambling to see that their movie is the first to hit the big screen.

The original movie tells the story of the Pontipee brothers, who kidnap a group of girls to become their wives. As they live in backwoods Oregon in the 1850’s, and an avalanche traps them on their farm on the other side of a mountain range, the girls cannot be rescued and fall in love with their kidnappers before their fathers get to them. Continue Reading

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Posted in Human Interest, Talky Pictures2 Comments

EHarmony Threatens Survival of Entire Human Race

EHarmony Threatens Survival of Entire Human Race

The popular dating website has tens of millions of users around the globe and claims that the marriages it engenders last longer and are more contented than normal. It bases its matches between singles on compatibility traits. “This is the problem”, one genetics researcher, Dr. Tsung Foo of Apple Fertility Clinic, a new app for the iPhone, professes, “since compatibility is not a natural human species mating trait. That is not how sex works.” Continue Reading

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Posted in Human Interest, Internets Tubes1 Comment

Relationship Guru: Never Argue w/ Wife, Just Dicker a Bit

Relationship Guru: Never Argue w/ Wife, Just Dicker a Bit

Sol Morgenstern has been a famous marriage counselor for almost 30 years. In that time he’s helped thousands of troubled couples get a real handle on their relationships no matter how troubled the situation or how stressful everyday life can be.

“I had a married couple in here recently that absolutely hated each other. I simply put them in a cage and wouldn’t let them out until they made peace with each other. It’s been about 3 weeks now and they’re getting pretty hungry, but I still have hopes!” Continue Reading

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Posted in Human Interest2 Comments

Gender Discrimination in Asian Horror Movies

Gender Discrimination in Asian Horror Movies

A recent study on gender bias in Asian horror movies have left many with weak stomachs in addition to the usual hankering for pseudo-buttered popcorn.

It was found that the majority of ghosts are female and seeking vengeance, thus leaving their male counterparts emasculated, the study said. Continue Reading

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Posted in Human Interest, Television0 Comments

Millions of Americans Trapped Below Middle Class w/o Rescue Plan

Millions of Americans Trapped Below Middle Class w/o Rescue Plan

Rescuers are busy on a plan to reach millions of Americans who have become trapped somewhere between middle class and lower class without much of a chance of survival. They claim a level of greed several hundred feet thick is separating the trapped Americans from reaching the upper crust.

While several escape plans have been formulated, none of them seem to be iron-clad winners and therefore, have not been put into action as yet. The committee put in charge of the rescue plan claims they are unable to put the effort and resources into such a large plan until after the mid-term elections have determined who the next group of rescuers will be. Continue Reading

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Posted in Human Interest2 Comments

Seattle Opens Innovative Self-Help Health Clinics

Seattle Opens Innovative Self-Help Health Clinics

SEATTLE, Washington – A group of enterprising doctors today were granted a license by the State Board of Medical Examiners in Washington State to open the first of what they hope to be many self-help walk-in clinics in America.

Based on the concept of “been there, done that” but in a more professional sense, the doctors came up with a plan that they say will revolutionize the way people are treated for minor mishaps. The doctors claim that most people nowadays know their way around the internet pretty well. Continue Reading

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Posted in Health, Human Interest0 Comments

Westboro Baptist Sues God Claiming He “Doesn’t Really Mind Fags”

Westboro Baptist Sues God Claiming He “Doesn’t Really Mind Fags”

Washington, DC (GlossyNews.com): The Westboro Baptist Church, the controversial religious sect best known for protesting the funerals of slain war veterans and their “God Hates Fags” protest signs, announced a startling lawsuit against God in Federal District Court today.

According to Court documents, the Westboro Baptists are seeking “unspecified damages” against “The Lord God, Almighty,” for breach of contract under the terms of US Code Title 25, Section 3116. Continue Reading

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Posted in Human Interest, Religionism0 Comments

Dead Woman In Chair Watches TV For 42 years

Dead Woman In Chair Watches TV For 42 years

ZAGREB, Croatia (Glossy News) – We’re not sure what was on TV in 1966 in the former Yugoslavia, but it must have been so terrible that a woman died while viewing it, and her remains have only recently been found.

The body of Hedviga Golik, who was born in 1924, was discovered by police in the Croatian capital of Zagreb, long-dead and sitting in her armchair in front of her black-and-white television. A bowl of moldy popcorn sitting on the table next to her. Continue Reading

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Posted in Human Interest1 Comment

Study Proves Marble Tile is Very Heavy

Study Proves Marble Tile is Very Heavy

When you’re married, there will be times (usually during 4th quarter of a tied game)that a woman says, “Something something something would brighten up the room, don’t you think?”

Wait until the game is over, and then go out to the garage and hit your thumb with a hammer. Because that’s going to happen sometime during your upcoming adventure, so why delay the inevitable.

First, she doesn’t really care what you think about her ‘room brightening’ project. She was only trying to be nice, in her womanly way. In these things, she only values your male upper body strength. Continue Reading

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Posted in Human Interest, Top Stories0 Comments

Sesame Street Makes Top Ten List of Dangerous Places

Sesame Street Makes Top Ten List of Dangerous Places

Sesame Street is no longer the wholesome neighborhood street that children and their families flock to to enjoy an afternoon of counting and rhyming and learning some fun educational facts. It is becoming more and more a place where you don’t want to hang out. Some of the popular characters have either totally moved away to look for work in other big cities or have gone on the skids. Loveable Grover has been spotted many a time on the street’s main intersection bumming for change. Continue Reading

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Posted in Entertainment, Human Interest0 Comments

Entire Population Blocs Heading for Hills to Avoid Biometric “Tech”

Entire Population Blocs Heading for Hills to Avoid Biometric “Tech”

Technological advances in how people are doing their business these days have prompted one of the largest exoduses in America. Entire close-knit groups, mainly large families banding together, are pooling their resources and heading for the rugged wilderness found in Idaho, Montana, and even California.

One such group calls itself the “New Garden of Eden” after the Bible of course, but more importantly after a quilt design, “Garden of Eden.” The leader of the group, Harmon Eekins of Providence, Rhode Island claims he got the idea from reading a book. Continue Reading

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Posted in Human Interest0 Comments

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