Category: Human Interest
How to End a Relationship (comic)
If you’ve ever been in a relationship that was good, but not great, you surely know the feeling… why not just end it? Turns out there’s an easy way to do it. Just insult the unholy b’jeebers out of your…
Most of Local Man’s Afternoon Spent Pressing 9 for More Options
INDIANAPOLIS – Attempting to pay a past due balance on his cell phone bill Monday, Indianapolis resident Patrick Overton spent the better part of this afternoon, which could otherwise have been devoted to finally getting around to fixing that shed…
107-Year-Old Woman Not That Same Sprightly 89-Year-Old She Used to Be
GOSHEN – Celebrating her 107th birthday recently, centenarian Gladys Cadwell admitted Friday that, by golly, she is not that same, zesty 89-year-old she once was. Waxing philosophical about those grand old times of 18 years ago, Cadwell conceded that she…
Area Control Freak Reports OCD Under Control
Don’t worry everybody–world-wide* acclaimed blogger and self-published publisher/self-editor/self-writer/self-artist, Mark Krotzchety (pronounced “Krotzchety”), wants you to know that he’s finally got his nagging compulsions under control. Apparently, he’s organized everything into a master calendar.
Pinewood Derby Teaches Valuable Lessons in Cheating, Abandonment
My boys had their first Pinewood Derby. As I sat there it dawned on me what’s really being taught; all the ugliness of life in one 7-ounces block of resentment. My older son had what I can charitably describe as…
Catholic Priests Terrorize Italy’s Youth
Terror in Italy this morning as hundreds of Catholic priests descend upon the Vatican. Italian Mister of Defense Giampaolo di Paola has imposed a strict curfew and parents are being encouraged to keep their children indoors until the threat has…
Study: Majority of U.S. Pop. Now Filipina Women
A new study released by Barvard University shows a startling shift in the demographics of the United States from predominantly white to now overwhelmingly Filipina. The report reveals that Filipina women now comprise 59 percent of the population, dwarfing the…
Local Angler Suddenly Better Than Long-time Fishing Buddies
Florida native and longtime saltwater angler, Clayton Moore, announced to friends this afternoon that, due to his recent purchase of a fly rod, he is now a better fisherman than they are. “I’ve suspected it for a while but when…
How to Train Navy SEALS as a Stay-at-Home Parent
AUSTIN, TX—Are you a stay-at-home mom or dad? Do you have dreams of entering an elite division of the military like the U.S. Navy SEALS or the Green Berets but feel like you just don’t have the time to prepare?…
State Mottos Change in Several States This Year to Attract Tourism
States are constantly re-inventing themselves this time of year, vying for tourist dollars. The better the state motto on license plates and brochures, the more interest they can garner, which translates into more visitors come spring and summer. Still, some…