Category: Human Interest
Pot and Bongo Fest Expected to Draw Huge Crowds
The First Annual Pot and Bongo Fest scheduled to be held this year is expected to draw huge crowds from all over the world. “Since this is the first festival in the country featuring legalized marijuana, we can’t put a…
Cents and Sensibility (Though Neither of Either)
Singles seeking sensibility over sexuality crashed newbie dating site Pension Singles just thirty minutes into its Valentine’s Day launch. Hailed as the middle class man (or woman’s) Millionaires Match, the newbie Internet matchmaker promises quality matches between those who slaved…
Communities on High Alert in Wake of Killer Guinea Pig Attacks
It seems no animal is safe to keep as a pet anymore. There was a time when people kept turtles as pets. But no longer, thanks to research which proved turtles often carry the deadly Salmonella bacteria, which can easily…
Road to Success Closed for Construction
Due to further initiatives from the office of Mayor Ballard, the road to success – an interstate linking life’s frustrating years with one’s potentially comfortable adult years – has closed to make way for more construction. The road, which is…
Woman Claims “It Is What It Is” Wasn’t What It Was
A New Jersey woman has brought charges against a local yoga instructor for misleading her into believing a simple saying could solve most of her life problems. In her complaint, Marilyn Johnson, a hairdresser from Hoboken, claims that Karma, aka…
Cigarette Cards Back in Fashion in Australia
When the Australian High Court forced tobacco manufacturers to sell cigarettes in packaging without their distinctive colours and logos from December last year, the World Health Organisation (WHO) applauded this decision, saying that it was the right thing to do…
Top Ten Things that Will Happen on Groundhog Day
It’s a merry, storied tradition in Punxsatawney, PA, one that goes back 123 years (including leap years). Lore has it that if Punxsatawney Phil sees his shadow, he predicts six more weeks of winter. Phil has rarely been wrong, or…
‘Breaking Bad’ Candy Store Now Offering Build-Your-Own Meth Lab Play Set
NEW MEXICO–Somewhere in the quiet suburbs of Albuquerque, set against the backdrop of the Sandia mountain range, a small confectionery store just “broke bad”. Again. The same store that brought your kids the beloved blue meth candy is proud to…
“Scientists”: This Year Officially Does Not Exist
In an announcement which may not come as a shock to readers from the United States, Barack Obama has declared that there will be no such year as 2013, which will now instead be referred to as 2014a. “The issue…
Youngster Shocked Sam Adams More than Just “Dead Beer Guy”
BOSTON—Twenty-four-year-old Boston native and soon-to-be college grad, Richard Head, while sitting atop his cherry SUV and watching fireworks in the distance, learned a little bit more about American history and culture this past New Year’s–and, man, would his dad have…