Archive | Science & Technologizzy

Ancient British Alphabet Block Discovered

Ancient British Alphabet Block Discovered

NORTHERN ENGLAND (BobZaguy) – British archaeologists at the University of York in the city of York, have found quite the rare surprise — an unusually well-preserved children’s alphabet block. It is pictured in the bottom right hand corner of the photo at left. Next to what at first glance seems to be a human skull. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Science0 Comments

Miliband the Millipede Promises Green Jobs For All

Miliband the Millipede Promises Green Jobs For All

One of Britain’s biggest employers in the green energy industry is to cease production within hours of a paradoxical government announcement today pledging as many as 400,000 green jobs by 2015. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Environment, Technology0 Comments

Egypt to Ban Lab-Fabricated Hymens

Egypt to Ban Lab-Fabricated Hymens

A leading Egyptian Islamic scholar has demanded (based on his own barbaric vigilante authority) that people caught importing a female virginity-faking device into the basket case country should be arrested by the Mutaween religious police, summarily tried under Sharia law and face the death penalty if convicted. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Gadgets & Gizmos4 Comments

Frivolous Academic ‘Cheese Butty’ Research Hit

Frivolous Academic ‘Cheese Butty’ Research Hit

The New Labour government’s Ministry for Wasting Time & Money has come under attack from the Tories – yet again – for commissioning academic research into such insane project studies as how to make the perfect cheese toastie sandwich – and – is sword-swallowing actually dangerous? – does torture really hurt to the point of an ‘Ouch’ factor? – or could a clan of meerkats write a Shakespeare play? – and whether a cartload of monkeys would be able – given sufficient time and money – to build an atomic weapon. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Technology0 Comments

EU Big Brother to Microchip All UK Pets

EU Big Brother to Microchip All UK Pets

Now even dogs and cats – and likewise all British household pets – from the cuddly furry to the feathery plumaged to piscine and reptilian scaly – cannot escape the clutches of the Orwellian surveillance state.

Under EU plans being implemented by the totally paranoid New Labour administration all UK pets will have to be fitted with a microchip containing their owner’s name and address, phone number and credit card details – including the four-digit pin. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Human Interest, Society, Technology0 Comments

Indian Space Probe Finds Water on Moon

Indian Space Probe Finds Water on Moon

A surprising amount of water has been found to exist on the Moon’s surface, especially so in the craters which have been discovered to contain muddy puddles just waiting to be drained and the liquid purified for drinking.

Data from India’s Vindaloo 1 space probe – which recently landed on the Moon for urgent repairs while on its way to Mars – shows the entire lunar surface holds molecules of aqua vitae in abundance which could be squeezed out to provide ample supplies of drinking water and also become the medium for irrigation projects once lunar farming takes off under Monsanto’s planned ‘Moonseed’ project. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Science & Technologizzy, Technology0 Comments

DNA Tests Reveal Hitler was a Woman

DNA Tests Reveal Hitler was a Woman

A large bone fragment of Adolf Hitler’s skull has been revealed as being that of a woman, according to the latest forensic tests carried out in the US by Princeton’s prestigious Institute of Advanced Guessology.

The section of bone – marked with a bullet hole through the right temporal squamus – was used to support the theory that Hitler shot himself after taking cyanide. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Science & Technologizzy, Technology0 Comments

Prince Chucklehead: Environmental Savior, Saviour and Savant

Prince Chucklehead: Environmental Savior, Saviour and Savant

His Royal Highness Charles – the bat-eared Prince of Snails – is urging the common landless peasants of Merrie England to give up their cars in favour of walking or public transport to try to reduce carbon emissions and save large sections of the planet that he and his Mum own personally. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Environment, Science & Technologizzy0 Comments

AccuWeather Forecast for Today – Sunshine – Que?‏

AccuWeather Forecast for Today – Sunshine – Que?‏

E-mail to AccuWeather HQ:

From: Rusty@noreply.com
Sent: 22 September 2009 – 09:52:28

The AccuWeather site boast: “AccuWeather has developed a new algorithm that calculates what the temperature really feels like outside – named (appropriately enough) the RealFeel Temperature. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Science & Technologizzy1 Comment

Google Dog Search Trick Pisses Off Council

Google Dog Search Trick Pisses Off Council

A family of dodgy Balkan refugees who tried to lure back a lost dog by leaving a trail of their own urine around the streets near their home have been criticised by the town council as a bunch of irresponsible pisspots. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Internets Tubes, Technology0 Comments

EPA: Free Speech Causes Global Warming

EPA: Free Speech Causes Global Warming

Washington, DC (BNSE): The Environmental Protection Agency released its updated quarterly findings today, which placed “Free Speech Carbon Emissions” as “one of the largest unchecked sources of Carbon Dioxide contamination in North America.” Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Environment0 Comments

Racist Row Revving Up, Four Sure to End Up on the Floor

Racist Row Revving Up, Four Sure to End Up on the Floor

A Smegmadale driver spent two nights in jail after being accused of the latest numpty-dumpty politically-incorrect crime of “revving his car in a racist manner”. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Environment, Strange People0 Comments

Japan Finally Makes Worse Car Than U.S.

Japan Finally Makes Worse Car Than U.S.

TOKYO, JAPAN- Japanese engineers working for Toyota shocked the world today by announcing that they have at long last created a car worse than any car made in the United States. After a bold promise made by Chief Engineer Fukashi Tokiru in the late nineties to match American ineptitude, Toyota’s engineers finally came through, creating a car that is more terrible than any American counterpart. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Environment, Technology0 Comments

Genetic Engineering Goes Bananas, Boosts Chimp IQ’s

Genetic Engineering Goes Bananas, Boosts Chimp IQ’s

UK police and Interpol are hot on the trail of a troop of thirty-plus chimpanzees that escaped from their enclosure at Chester Zoo in Cheshire this weekend, forcing visitors to flee in terror. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Health, Technology0 Comments

Welcome to the EU’s New Dark Ages

Welcome to the EU’s New Dark Ages

Under the latest stupid EU ruling the manufacture and import of 100 watt incandescent light bulbs in Britain will be banned in favour of the CFL energy-saving variety – by which you can’t see to read – or write – brush your hair, wipe your arse, tie your shoe laces or shave without cutting your own throat. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Environment, Gadgets & Gizmos0 Comments

Study: Cellphones Hard-Boil Brains

Study: Cellphones Hard-Boil Brains

A 2008 joint survey undertaken by the Department of Odd Behaviour in conjunction with the Ministry for Falling Over, concluded that the use of a mobile phone definitely has an adverse effect on brain activity, although it conceded there were “significant gaps in our scientific knowledge” – which in layman’s terms equated to the fact they didn’t have an effing clue precisely how much microwave radiation was actually required to cook your brain to a soft-boiled state – or kick-start the growth of a super-metastasizing malignant tumour – but – wait for it – did conclude beyond a reasonable doubt that ‘any’ amount of microwave radiation is ‘not’ good for you. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Gadgets & Gizmos, Technology0 Comments

We Made a Movie!


Check us out on Kickstarter!


Glossy News Exclusive Exposés


-- (SEE ALL GlossyNews.com Videos) --



Glossy News Fake Commercials!





More Great Satire:

Check out links to even more of our friends...
Want to see Your Link Here?



Our Top Authors (last 30-days)

DHgate.com



All of Our Categories:

Top Stories - Top Stories; Politics - Top Stories; Serious Commentary - Top Stories; World News - Top Stories; Biz News - Top Stories; War Zone | Horoscopes
Entertainment - Entertainment; Celebrity Gossip - Entertainment; Television - Entertainment; Music - Entertainment; Internet Tubes - Entertainment; Books, Newspapers & Misc - Entertainment; Movies
Society - Society; Health - Society; Crime - Society; Travel - Society; Crooked Cops - Society; Education - Society; Strange People - Society; Religionism - Society; Human Interest - Society; Kidz Zone
Science and Technology - Science and Technology; Science - Science and Technology; Technology - Science and Technology; Gadgets & Gizmos - Science and Technology; Environment
Sports - Sports; Scandals - Sports; Athletes - Sports; Events | All the Rest - News in Your Briefs - Making Headlines - Opinion/Editorial