Newark, NJ – (SatireWorld.com)
A once thriving grove of maple trees is all but destroyed after hybrid-hurricane Sandy left the Garden State in shambles with winds topping 100 MPH and an unprecented storm that devoured buildings and boardwalk. Now, unseen difficulties plague some of New Jersey’s most beloved inhabitants.
Humans aren’t the only ones to suffer from the loss of personal items. Millions of canines are finding it difficult to simply to their duty when nature calls. Why? No trees!
PHOTO INSERT: Dogs line up at a lone tree in Princeton that survived the 90 MPH winds. Several owners complained of the long wait time and feared a dog fight might happen at anytime. Several little nasty ones refusing to wait their turn peed on the photographers leg while he snapped the photograph.
Dogs are finding what once was a handy tree is now a scarce commodity in this post-Sandy environment. Many of man’s best friends have shown increased anxiety when taken out by loving companions to do their daily business.
“Little Bucky wanders around the yard with a funny look on his face when I take him out in the morning. He’s very confused now because there’s nothing for him to lift his leg up to. Atr times he growls,” says Gladys Morgan, a 66 year retired school teacher from Monroe Township who surveyed her now barren backyard with sorrowful eyes.
To prevent further canine chaos during recovery from the hurricane, officials with the state of New Jersey have taken notice and acted promptly. This morning FEMA gave their approval to the state to order 22,000 artificial life-sized trees from China. They are scheduled to arrive in Hoboken next week on containers ships.
The New Jersey Division of Forestry spokesperson, Foster Reeves plans to have them distributed as fast as possible to help the millions of distressed pets throughout the state. During a press conference Reeves spoke about the state’s quick response and efforts to please pet owners in New Jersey.
“These people vote and they vote for those who take care of their pet’s needs in an emergency. We first thought of simply passing out old fire hydrants, but the Division of Fire Safey said it might confuse fire fighters in an emergency.”
Those wishing to contribute to the ‘Restore A Tree For New Jersey’s Pups’ are encouraged to contact the nearest Red Cross Contribution center. Or call 888-222-5555