INDIANAPOLIS – Heavy snow fall is expected to batter much of the Midwest Thursday, spawning fears that it may wipe out hundreds of “otherwise highly relevant news stories.”

Production teams are on standby in news rooms across the state of Indiana, as the heavy snow fall continues to bury stories that would – under any other circumstance – become prime time talking points on the nighttime news.

Early indications suggest that several emerging crime-related stories are thought to be missing as a result of the snow, while broadcasts pertaining to controversial smoking ban legislation were found buried on page 14 of the Indy Star this morning.

“It’s really nasty out there,” observed Channel 13 meteorologist Debra Caldwell. “Already, we’ve seen dozens of stories about the groundbreaking discovery of three earth-like planets inside our own galaxy reduced to a brief mention on the lunchtime news.”

“Potential feature stories on the plight of the polar bear were also cast aside by the torrential onslaught of snow stories.”

Meanwhile, a weather advisory has been issued, warning all pertinent news items to stay in doors until reports on the snow have cleared.