Category: Science & Technologizzy
Snow Storm ‘Set to Bury Hundreds of Other News Stories’
INDIANAPOLIS – Heavy snow fall is expected to batter much of the Midwest Thursday, spawning fears that it may wipe out hundreds of “otherwise highly relevant news stories.” Production teams are on standby in news rooms across the state of…
UN Ponders Cloning Extinct Wooly Mammoths as New Global Food Source
United Nations- New York City – (SatireWorld.com) The United Nations Special Committee on Global Nutrition has partnered with Nickoli Butechefski, a noted Russian genome theorist, in developing a strain of DNA to be used in cloning an extinct species for…
Chiropractor’s License Yanked Over ‘Intravaginal Massage’ Allegations
Jasper, GA – (SatireWorld.com) – A Georgia chiropractor is accused of sexually violating three female patients by using a controversial medical procedure he calls ‘Intravaginal massage.’ The Georgia State Medical Board says there is no recognized procedure anywhere on their…
Candidates Politicize God’s Subtle Climate Change “Reminder”
GlossyNews.com – “Look, I tried,” God grumbled, “Picked the most populated part of the country, some of the most contentious states in the election and altered both of their campaign routes, but did they listen? Noooo.” In a last, desperate…
Hurricane Victims Find Coping With a Treeless Landscape Difficult
Newark, NJ – (SatireWorld.com) A once thriving grove of maple trees is all but destroyed after hybrid-hurricane Sandy left the Garden State in shambles with winds topping 100 MPH and an unprecented storm that devoured buildings and boardwalk. Now, unseen…
Intense Negativity From Election Drama Create Huge Psychic Whirlwind In Atlantic
The generated heat created by battle between the two rivaling political parties vying for the U.S. Presidency has unleashed unforeseen consequences. The constant turbulence from partisan hatred, scandalous accusations, frictional debate and just plain pissedness has caused a massive psychic…
Republican Whose Home Destroyed by Hurricane Sandy Reluctantly Accepts Gov Handout
STAMFORD, CT – In the aftermath of one of the worst storms to batter the East Coast of the United States in recorded history, a Republican man whose lakeside house was left with almost $1.7-million-worth of damage at the hands…
Smells Good Enough Not To Eat
A study carried out by the US government has, today, published findings that show although perfume smells great, it, in fact, tastes disgusting. Research, that took over 17 years to complete, shows that of the 6,789 participants only 1.2% felt…
Report: Hard To Tell If Brooklyn Battered by Hurricane
NEW YORK CITY, NY – According to hundreds of eye-witnesses in New York Monday, the borough of Brooklyn “may or may not” have been affected by the onslaught of Hurricane Sandy, with one onlooker insisting: “it’s honestly hard to tell”….
Man Ponders Extra Device Chargers, Very Existence
Tonight I ran into a problem that maybe you have experienced in our current electronic age. After plugging in the cell phone, laptop, iPad, iPod, and Garmin GPS, I seem to have an extra charger with no device attached. How…