Category: Science & Technologizzy
Shia LaBeouf Makes Cameo in ‘Black Friday IV’ Trailer
Shia LaBeouf plays a sexy, sharpshooting stranger in the new live-action trailer for “Black Friday IV,” due out Nov. 7 for PlayStation and XBox. The minute-long trailer, set in the post-Thanksgiving Day ruins of a large retail outlet, features a…
Tan Mathletes Caught in Sin, Potentially Abusing Co-Sin
An old and dangerous trend, thought to originally come from China, is resurging, and taking the U.S. by storm; this comeback-kid fad is causing teens to turn away from marijuana, methamphetamines, ecstasy, and other hard drugs to overdose on a…
Study: Looking at Spider Images Dramatically Increases Likelihood of Spider Encounter
ATLANTA, GA—Researchers at Georgia State University have found conclusive evidence that each time an individual looks at any image depicting a spider, the odds of one being nearby and currently approaching them “just skyrocket.”
Elderly Woman Sends Text Message
INDIANAPOLIS – An elderly woman became the talk of her family today after miraculously turning on a cellular phone and successfully typing, and then sending, a 23-word text message to her 18-year-old grandson. Maureen Hamilton, 84, is believed to have…
Nine Nasty Reasons to Never Shop at Best Buy
It would be too easy to go into the daily fraud perpetrated by suckering trusting customers into buying gold-plated HDMI cables. Sure, they sell cables at 5,000% markup on the odd hour, but that aside, they’re terrible, incompetent and wholly…
Breaking – Heofon: A New Non-Secular World On The Horizon?
Topeka, KS, USA—During a special televised press briefing simulcast on FOX news and CBN this past Tuesday, a small group of faith-based engineers and Liberty University geologists, along with biologists working out of Central Christian College, as well as home-schooled…
Man Flicking Hair off Kindle Screen Plunges Self Right into IMDb Spoilers Section
BOISE, ID—While browsing the Internet Movie Database on his Kindle Saturday evening, transit vehicle inspector Ted Coakley reportedly set out to remove a hair from the screen of the device by flicking it, causing him to plummet well into the…
UFO Sightings Reignite Debate Over Whether Intelligent Life Exists in Indiana
SCOTTSBURG – Following a spate of UFO sightings across southern Indiana Wednesday, debate has intensified once more over whether or not intelligent life exists inside the Hoosier State. Several disc-shaped crafts hovering over Scottsburg, Indiana were reported to local media…
Scientists Embarrassed To Have Just Now Found World’s Largest Volcano
TOKYO — Geologists working with the Institute of Really Obvious Shit (IROS) sheepishly admitted yesterday that they have just now found the world’s largest volcano. According to Lead Researcher Dr. Cataract, “It’s a big ol’ fucker, too. Not sure how…
Laying Off Researchers a Bad Idea, Confirm Researchers
WASHINGTON—Amid news that federal budget cuts are set to cause a number of additional layoffs in the fields of research and science, several reports surfaced asserting that such cuts are “really not a good idea” and to “not do that.”…