Hillary Trashes Bill on “Oprah”

Chicago – In a widely anticipated appearance on the Oprah Winfrey show, Secretary of State Hillary Clinton offered her sympathy to Jenny Sanford, the wife of admitted adulterer, South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford. To the audience’s surprise, Mrs. Clinton then addressed nagging questions about her own marriage to Bill Clinton. Read more Hillary Trashes Bill on “Oprah”

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Palin Insists on Keeping Media Wounds Open, Media Reciprocates

One-time underdog beauty pageant contestant and VP candidate Sarah Palin had a rocky, some might rightly say unfair, relationship with the media during her short-lived aspiration to the second-highest office in the land. Instead of simply promoting herself, she’s picking at fresh scabs earned in battle against the media, mainstream and otherwise, seemingly unaware that the media still holds the same worldwide sway they did during her storied run, and that they still don’t much care for her or her unusual antics. Read more Palin Insists on Keeping Media Wounds Open, Media Reciprocates

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Billy Bob Thornton Eager to Pick Fights, Expose Inner Dick

Billy Bob Thornton is an Oscar winning writer and Oscar nominated actor, though he’s perhaps best known for his position as the one-time daddy figure husband of Angelina Jolie. He’s also known by literally hundred of the world’s citizens as the powerhouse behind the hillbilly fusion band “The Boxmasters”. Following a particularly humiliating interview on CBC’s Radio Show “Q”, The Boxmasters have been booed off stage and canceled the balance of their Canada tour. Not because of the music, mind you, but because of something much worse. Read more Billy Bob Thornton Eager to Pick Fights, Expose Inner Dick

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Matrix Made Keanu Reeves 1/3rd Billionaire

If you’re a big fan of The Matrix, or The Matrix Reloaded, you likely assume Keanu Reeves earned a hefty Hollywood sum, and you’d be partly right.

He did earn a massive pile of money, but it was more like a Kingly sum. Of course, if you’re a big fan of The Matrix Revolutions, you’re either imaginary or someone who hasn’t actually seen the film. Read more Matrix Made Keanu Reeves 1/3rd Billionaire

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Anybody Realize How Much Keanu Made Off the Matrix?

If you’re a big fan of The Matrix, or The Matrix Reloaded, you likely assume Keanu Reeves earned a hefty Hollywood sum, and you’d be partly right. He did earn a massive pile of money, but it was more like a Kingly sum. Of course, if you’re a big fan of The Matrix Revolutions, you’re either imaginary or someone who hasn’t actually seen the film. Read more Anybody Realize How Much Keanu Made Off the Matrix?

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Sharon Osbourne’s Reputation as Typical Bee-Hotch Unbroken

I’ve seen that Sharon Osbourne and wondered how much of the icy face we see is put on by MTV and how much of it is the machinations of her own inner demons. Between the erratic behavior on her American obscure end cable show and what I’ve learned from the likes of Ricky Gervais, I had to wonder, but when I finally got my screener copy of the BBC hidden camera show “Balls of Steel”, I knew for sure… that lady isn’t just crazy, she’s straight up evil, almost as if she’s trying to reinvent the very devil herself. Read more Sharon Osbourne’s Reputation as Typical Bee-Hotch Unbroken

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Dane Cook Rocks Veritable Asses in Seatte

Dane Cook appeared live at the Key Arena in Seattle last Thursday, and my hopes were too high to be anything but disappointed. First of all, he’s in the top-5 stand-up comics of our time. Secondly, I’ve already seen everything he’s done (except for the current “Rough Around the Edges” tour), and thirdly because crowds on Thursdays are notoriously scant, and have terrible energy. Dane proved me wrong, and I’m thankful for it. Read more Dane Cook Rocks Veritable Asses in Seatte

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Viagra Adopts White Rabbit as Jingle – “Feed Your Head”

Pfizer has released their newest series of commercials for the highly popular erectile dysfunction drug, Viagra. During a New York Yankees game last week Pfizer debuted their new commercial. The new advertising campaign abandons their previous approach of “Blue pill makes pappy happy,” in favor of their more direct demographic approach. Read more Viagra Adopts White Rabbit as Jingle – “Feed Your Head”

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The odd and frustrating case of the disappearing ad revenue

There’s a little tradition around this site. It has to do with how we make our money as it pertains to how we do business. And it looks a little something like this…

About once a year we get a notification from our oldest advertising partner letting us know that there’s some sort of violation of their terms of service. It’s never on a recent, or even a popular article. In this case, it’s a 12-year old article. Twelve years and all the sudden there’s an urgent problem, with mere hours to fix it, if any time at all. Read more The odd and frustrating case of the disappearing ad revenue

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Culkin So High, Didn’t Know He Was in Oklahoma

Macaulay Culkin, long the idol of Jacksonian worship, has reached new highs in his career and physiology this week with his drug arrest in, of all places, Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. Culkin made no comment about his star-turned-felon status which put him in the illustrious company of OJ, Zsa-Zsa and Kimberly from Diff’rent Strokes. Read more Culkin So High, Didn’t Know He Was in Oklahoma

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Documentary 2,000 Miles to Maine Fails to Suck

I regularly accept requests to review films and do so with boisterous glee. Hollywood is afraid of my brutal honesty but, once out of the “Golden State” of California the fear dissipates and my poignant slams are more graciously accepted. But then I get ambitious, underfunded, granola-laden documentary and I’m giddy as a schoolgirl thinking, “Tearing bad boy apart should be easy.”

Documentary 2,000 Miles to Maine Fails to SuckI sat down to watch it, pen in hand, anxious to bring to humorous light the many painful shortcomings and unintentional self-mocking… yes, I really do much of my writing with a pen but that’s not the point. The sound was okay, the composition was fine, even the back music fit in well. Ten minutes into the film, frustrated, I threw down my notepad and committed to just watching it

The film 2,000 Miles to Maine documents hikers attempting to trek the 2155-mile Appalachian trail from Georgia to Maine highlighting the difficulties and improbabilities involved in walking mountain trails in all weather, traversing more states than most people ever even get to see. I didn’t know there were interstate hiking trails and, admittingly, it’s a pretty romantic notion for sure.

As the trek and the film progress (both “northward” if I can use that to mean both “to the North” and “for the better). I did find the very few things I had expected to humorously poke fun at, though each came around as intended devices to the film. Many featured hikers gave up (Aha, I got something!) but they’re mostly followed up with. Unlike most documentaries it lacks the ever-present narrator and, once again, my would-be Aha! moment dissolved again as I realized that made me actually judge the speakers rather than rely upon the disembodied voice to tell me what to think.

As it winded to a close I was prepared with my anger. Nothing to mock is a mocker of me as a satirist (or cynic, if you prefer). Not to be outdone by a single DVD of any [non-pornographic] sort (those have always been my undoing and outdoing indeed), I steeled myself for the impending slam as it must surely follow.

In the final moments the triumphs of human spirit brought out in low-tech straight forward, real-life ways, my own inadequacies as a social aggressor seemed insignificant. Watching the trail end without fanfare, without outside praise but rather with overwhelming personal success and gratification gave me hope in the spirit and steadfast resolve of mankind. It’s almost tear-jerking, honestly.

If a dude with a backpack and cast-titanium resolve can walk the Eastern Seaboard, he can do anything! If he can do anything, so can I! Yes, I can make a mockery of film.
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Of course, walking to Maine takes 4-7 months to do, and so shall my insult to film come. Give me ’til sometime early 2005 and my comical review will surely be forthcoming, unless of course, like 90% of those who attempt the Appalachian Trail, I give up the hike. In the meantime though, I will be watching film again. In fact, if there was a 2000 Miles to Maine book, I’d buy it too. Sometimes I feel sucked into self-doubt, but was singly the most uplifting true story I’ve seen since The Rookie and didn’t even have baseball in it.

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More Parents Monitoring Children’s Web-Porn Viewing

LOS ANGELES – More parents are taking the time to monitor the pornography their children view on the internet, according to the second annual Walt Disney Co. study on the subject. Disney reports that 71% of the 774 parents surveyed limit the types of pornography their children may access. Read more More Parents Monitoring Children’s Web-Porn Viewing

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