The Latest Personality Type Indicator Will Shock You

As outlined in the Breyers-Griggs Universal Spectrum® (BoGUS®) Statement of Aims and Objectives, the purpose of the popular personality test is two-fold:

1. To assist people in better understanding themselves, including their personal preferences, strengths and weaknesses, and scope of interests; and
2. To provide employers with resources to inform key decisions in areas such as staffing and seat assignments.

The Breyers-Griggs Institute is committed to preserving the integrity and reliability of the test through research-based adjustments to their BoGUS work.

Over the years they have released more than a dozen versions of the test, many of which are used today as part of civil service exams and college entrance requirements (See “Which animal would you be?”; “What color is your aura?”; and “How would you fare in a zombie apocalypse?”)

To further educate interested individuals on the BoGUS results they can expect, the organization compiles and publishes reviews from recent test-takers. A selection of these statements, which are self-reported and freely available via social media, can be found below.
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Jhonny P writes:

no surprise here… ḦṺ₧ all the way! i could totally relate to this part…
“ḦṺ₧ personality types are fun-loving and adventurous, with a prudent side that allows them to look at a situation from all angles before deciding on the right course of action. Friendly and outgoing, they are intensely creative and appreciate quality time alone.”

jimbo672 writes:

So apparently I’m a ĤŲŽT, the least common personality type. Which kinda makes sense because I’m really analytical and always looking for the reasons behind things. But I’m a little confused about the Ž part, because I’ve never been interested in working with my hands or building stuff. Guess there’s untapped potential there! Looking forward to turning in my two weeks’ notice and finally following my heart…

PhilCollinsFan2 writes:

Love being a ԊØşŽˠ̚! There’s not many of us (rarest personality type) and according to the site we’re only 2 percent of the population. ԊØşŽˠ̚ types also have superior IQs. LOL 🙂

GeminiLovebug writes:

THIS IZ REALY USFUL TEST THANK YOU SCINTISTS 4 MAKING IT!!!

BrightonBitch4ever writes:

When I was younger I tried desperately to be a ԊØşŽˠ̚. It never stuck. I’ve since accepted my lot as a HṺ₧& and have even met a nice ḦØŽX man that accepts my quirks. But it’s not easy when my Ṻ and his Ø clash or we butt heads over whose turn it is to do the dishes! But I guess that comes with the territory when you’re only 1% of the population!

Unhinged MFA writes:

I swear my jaw fell to the floor as I was reading my results. I literally could not believe that a simple test could tell me so much about myself. It took me a full half hour to regain my composure – maybe longer. I can’t be sure. I was barely aware of the passage of time, and even bodily sensations like hot and cold were suspended. All I could think of was how exposed and vulnerable I felt. It was truly horrifying. I wish I had never taken the test, but now it’s too late. My sense of self has been shaken to the core and my individuality lost forever.

Author: Maria Khodorkovsky

Maria Khodorkovsky writes about language, linguistics, and the horrors of technology. General stodginess and resistance to change are the primary motives behind her work.