Category: Internets Tubes
Dozens Trampled Over Obamacare Holiday Sale
In what is already being called the worst accident since Walmart’s Black ThurFriday Sale, dozens of people were trampled when crowds broke through library barriers trying to take advantage of Obama’s “Buy One Get One Free” holiday health care plan…
Original Poster Is Actually a Bundle of Sticks
Today the internet was shocked and quite frankly a little turned on by a new discovery: OP (or original poster) is a faggot. Internet researchers are still trying to figure out how a bundle of sticks is responsible for every…
Obamacare Didn’t Falter, but was Crashed by Attacks; DDOS & GOP
As sure as the moneyed-interests opposed Obama to the tune of nearly a billion dollars in 2012, the same interests have come back to crash the ACA (Obamacare) on two fronts, and they’ve done a masterful job of it. The…
Indiana Man Uploads Entire Life Onto Facebook
INDIANAPOLIS – Spending more than nine hours a day on Facebook, one of the site’s 800 million users, Michael Treacher, says he has successfully uploaded his entire life onto the social networking site. Not only does his profile provide thousands…
Child Pornographers, Polygamists Fight for First Amendment Rights
In Washington D. C .a handful of people showed up for the Million Man Child Pornographer March led by the Society of Children in Cinema United by Men (SCCUM). The rally was staged in the conjunction with the Rights for…
Established, High-Karma Reddit Accounts Being Sold
Apparently your karma is worth more than you know. All those years of clicking and commenting on stories, maybe they’re actually worth something. One site has Reddit accounts for sale, and they’re not shy about it. ThePublicityFirm.com says “We have…
Local Man Subjects Self to Sick Experiment
CINCINNATI, OH—In an act that can only be described as some kind of emotional masochism, David Lauder, resident single, recently created a profile on a popular website intended for dating. The so-called “dating website” is a service that allows users,…
Area Grandma Thinks Googling is Sex Act
A local grandmother has become convinced that “the Google” is an amorous maneuver performed during the sexual act of “Googling.” After watching a local news segment that profiled young couples who Googled each other after the first date, 74-year-old Gail…
Crappy UK Website Denies Breaking News Princess Diana Was Murdered
“We didn’t break that news,” stated www.cafespike.com site administrator Martin Shuttlecock. “Somebody probably got us confused with the Daily Mail. Or the Express. Whatever.” Inside information has revealed that cafespike.com is staffed by a team of enthusiastic amateurs who are…
Evil Excel Spreadsheet Doing Everything In Power to Stop Guy Leaving Work on Time
INDIANAPOLIS – Seemingly not content to just let office worker Aaron McMillan clock out of work at the regular time of five-thirty, a Microsoft Excel spreadsheet is doing everything in its Goddamn power Monday to make sure that McMillan stays…