Search Results for: scientology
Church of Scientology Offer Asylum to (Former) President Trump
Meth-guzzling 60s psychedelic lunatics and dollar-loving all-American Kool Aid hustlers the “Church” of Scientology have show solidarity with fellow deranged plutocrat Donald J. Trump, and offered him refuge from political persecution.
PR DISASTER! Pope Francis Signs Peace Treaty With Church of Scientology
After inking a highly controversial covenant of theological solidarity with the Grand Imam of al-Azhar University, notoriously accident-prone not so militant cleric Pope Francis has been continuing his famously tolerant and inclusive approach to religion by declaring a holy crusade…
Disney Acquires Scientology, Pushes for Billion Year Copyright
In a move surprising several, Disney-ABC Television Group lodged a hostile takeover of Scientology on Monday, acquiring the majority of outstanding shares for $3.6 billion, excluding real estate assets, a 14% premium over Friday closing value. The move affords Disney,…
Stop Press: The Real Reason Tom Cruise is Leaving Scientology
There’s a lot of talk about Tom Cruise leaving Scientology. But the media coverage thus far has been very selective. So just this once, I’m going to have to use my imagination to plug the gap.
Scientology Sex Toys Taking Over Our Godly Galaxy
Phew! I’m worn out. Or maybe just in a vaguely soporific state. It was all fun and amusing to start with, but I think the novelty’s worn off. Gets a bit samey after a while. Still, I always like to…
Scientology Sex Toys Taking Over Our Godly Galaxy
OK, the sky hasn’t fallen in…. Yet. Just gotta keep going, I suppose. Cosmic E-Cheek Ass Slicer OK, this one is a little bit nastier, if also somewhat more fun… And it’s only for the more experienced, intrepidly kinky fetish…
Scientology Sex Toys Taking Over Our Godly Galaxy (1/3)
Oof! Sorry for the mildly sensationalist headline. I never quite got over not getting to be a top reporter for the Galactical Enquirer. Still, somewhat more crucially, I must inform you of the existential spiritual peril facing you and your…
42 Reasons Why Scientology is Literally The Absolute Truth (2)
Yesterday, we ran Part One of this story. Today we conclude with the aptly named “Part Two”. These articles as to why Scientology is right and true could as easily span a hundred articles or whole book of copyright protected…
42 Reasons Why Scientology is Literally The Absolute Truth (1)
You’ve probably noticed: haters always criticize Scientology. Well, I’m going to educate all you curious and ripe-for-the-picking folks out there on why the doubters are wrong as Hell. Admittedly, some conspicuously pretentious sophists will say that the reasons given…