Posted in Health World News

New Study Shows the Mexican Cartel to Be “Bunch of Homos(exuals)”

A new study done by the Political Association of Immigration Soldiers and American Students reveals the Mexican Cartel, the same people that love to molest its house rats (no, not their children), to be having mass intercourse with one another.

WTF?! Click now to find out more! New Study Shows the Mexican Cartel to Be “Bunch of Homos(exuals)”
Posted in Human Interest Sports

Media Hungry Johnny Manziel says, “I’m Gay Too”

Not to be shown up in this year’s NFL’s draft, Johnny Manziel, aka Johnny Football has announced that he’s gay too. After the media frenzy over the St. Louis Rams drafting the first openly gay football player Michael Sam, Manziel…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Media Hungry Johnny Manziel says, “I’m Gay Too”
Posted in Sports Sports Scandals

CNN’s Anderson Cooper Interviews Donald Sterling

In his first public statements and media interview, Anderson Cooper sits down with LA Clippers owner Donald Sterling. Cooper – So Mr. Sterling, what do you think happened to Flight 370? Sterling – When I listen to that tape, I…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! CNN’s Anderson Cooper Interviews Donald Sterling
Posted in Politics

White House Laments Roosevelt Didn’t Have #HitlerSucks in 1940’s, Could Have Shortened War

Washington D.C. – Sixteen year-old White House Spokesman, Jay Carney, commented in today’s presidential press briefing that it was a shame the Roosevelt administration didn’t have the benefit of hashtags in the early days of World War II so they…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! White House Laments Roosevelt Didn’t Have #HitlerSucks in 1940’s, Could Have Shortened War
Posted in Opinion/Editorial Society

“Yucky World” with Dick and Janey (^-^) Today’s issue: Sex with a subordinate?

Announcer: Monica Lewinsky was recently interviewed about her affair with former President Bill Clinton. Dick and Janey’s guest today on “Yucky World” will be Hedda Enabler, spokesperson for the National Association of Disorganized Women. They will be discussing the fact…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! “Yucky World” with Dick and Janey (^-^) Today’s issue: Sex with a subordinate?
Posted in Entertainment Music

‘American Idol’ Becomes Proving Ground for Future Politicians After Aiken Congressional Run

Los Angeles – Ryan Seacrest announced this morning that, due to former American Idol finalist Clay Aiken’s close results in his bid to win a congressional seat in North Carolina, the show would transition to a clearinghouse for all future…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! ‘American Idol’ Becomes Proving Ground for Future Politicians After Aiken Congressional Run
Posted in Politics

Koch Bros. Buy Democratic Party, Harry Reid Short Circuits

Washington, D.C. – The Koch Brothers have had it with Harry Reid, the Senate Majority Leader from Nevada, and his constant railing against the brothers every time he props himself up against the podium on the floor of the Senate…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Koch Bros. Buy Democratic Party, Harry Reid Short Circuits
Posted in Travel

Michelle Obama Debuts New College Degree Plan at Rutgers: Professional Vacationer

New Brunswick, NJ – Smiling, and without a care in the world, FLOTUS showed up at Rutgers University today to unveil a brand new academic program she is credited with creating, in conjunction with the Board of Regents, that should…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Michelle Obama Debuts New College Degree Plan at Rutgers: Professional Vacationer
Posted in Health Society

“Yucky World” Guest Topic: Is government product safety running amok?

Announcer: Some people believe the federal government is going overboard in its efforts to protect us from hurting ourselves. “Yucky World” talk show hosts Dick and Janey will be discussing this issue with their guest, Consumer Protection Agency representative Miss…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! “Yucky World” Guest Topic: Is government product safety running amok?
Posted in Entertainment Talky Pictures

Johnny Depp Unveils Breadlocks as Disney Announces Latest Sequel

Burbank, California – The Walt Disney Company made an exciting announcement over the weekend promoting their latest sequel in the Pirates of the Caribbean movie franchise that doubles as a poignant tribute to the recently extinct Olive Garden restaurant chain….

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Johnny Depp Unveils Breadlocks as Disney Announces Latest Sequel
Posted in Entertainment

Ben Affleck Under Investigation For Researching Wrong Role in Las Vegas

Las Vegas – Ben Affleck was caught ‘counting cards’ in Las Vegas this week and authorities are baffled as to why the actor was attempting such a feat. Apparently, Affleck was on a bender and claimed to be doing research…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Ben Affleck Under Investigation For Researching Wrong Role in Las Vegas
Posted in Sports Events World News

Brazil’s Economy Skyrockets in Soccer Tournament; Millions of Wallets Stolen

The 2014 FIFA World Cup event will be a beneficial factor that will help Brazil with its not-so-good economy, at least that’s what Hispanic skinhead, Pitbull, had to say about it. Hispanic, cancer man later went on to gibber on…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Brazil’s Economy Skyrockets in Soccer Tournament; Millions of Wallets Stolen
Posted in Celebrity Gossip Top Stories

Lorde Accuses Papparazzo Of Taking Pictures Of Her In Public

Age ambiguous, teen pop music sensation Lorde, took to twitter this weekend to accuse a paparazzi photographer of maliciously taking photographs of her in public. “This man has been stalking me, photographing me in public and refusing me my God…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Lorde Accuses Papparazzo Of Taking Pictures Of Her In Public
Posted in Strange People

Wealthy Man Replaces his Sexist & Racist Thoughts with Clones to Silence Critics

Dateline: NEW YORK–Tired of being accused of having stereotypical ideas of women and racial minorities, the gazillionaire Roderick Billington set about spending his vast fortune to perfect his conceptions. “I realized the essence of the problem early on,” he said….

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Wealthy Man Replaces his Sexist & Racist Thoughts with Clones to Silence Critics
Posted in Entertainment

Latest Godzilla Movie Features Fatter, Middle-Age Monster With Low T

Tokyo – In the latest incarnation of the Godzilla series of big-screen features, Godzilla 2014, the monster playing the fierce creature looks a little less menacing than in previous movies, and a little more out of shape. “It’s true, I’ve…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Latest Godzilla Movie Features Fatter, Middle-Age Monster With Low T
Posted in Celebrity Gossip Television

Fine, I’ll Break the News: Paul Dinello to Take Over Colbert Report

With Stephen Colbert leaving to fill the massive shoes of David Letterman on CBS, who will take over at 11:30 on Comedy Central? Paul Dinello, it is hoped. This news has not been official until now. No one else has…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Fine, I’ll Break the News: Paul Dinello to Take Over Colbert Report
Posted in Sports Events

Kentucky Derby Horse ‘Uncle Sigh’ Doesn’t Really Give a Damn About Race

Churchill Downs – As the 140th running of the Kentucky Derby nears, one fact about one of the horses in the running this year is clear: ‘Uncle Sigh’ just doesn’t give a damn. The horse is already pissed about having…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Kentucky Derby Horse ‘Uncle Sigh’ Doesn’t Really Give a Damn About Race
Posted in Crime Society

My Mother Was A Margarine Smuggler

Yes, it is true. Shameful but true. It is always difficult for the children of those involved in criminal activities to confront their past and the social stigmas associated with such behavior, but at some time it must be faced….

WTF?! Click now to find out more! My Mother Was A Margarine Smuggler
Posted in Entertainment Talky Pictures Top Stories

Japanese Accused of “Fat-Shaming” Godzilla, Warner Brothers of “Cultural Appropriation”

As the film Godzilla approaches it’s US May 16th debut, the grievance industry got started early when the internetz and blogosphere exploded late Friday after a new trailer of the movie was released by Warner Brothers. Japanese fan groups accused…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Japanese Accused of “Fat-Shaming” Godzilla, Warner Brothers of “Cultural Appropriation”
Posted in Music

New Study: Fat Bottomed Girls May Not ‘Make the Rockin’ World Go Round’ After All

Ithaca, NY – After years of tireless research at Cornell University, professors have released a study that brings into question the long-accepted fact the late great Freddie Mercury, from the rock band Queen, proclaimed to the world – Fat bottomed…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! New Study: Fat Bottomed Girls May Not ‘Make the Rockin’ World Go Round’ After All
Posted in Crime Opinion/Editorial

A Solution to Our Prison Problem – Soccer Balls

Newsflash: Our prison population over the past two decades has soared to a record-bursting 2.4 million. Almost one out of every 100 Americans is currently incarcerated. (Personally, I blame Hollywood celebutantes Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton and Justin Bieber for much…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! A Solution to Our Prison Problem – Soccer Balls
Posted in World News

Congress Declares Global War on ‘The Heebie-Jeebies’

WASHINGTON—On Monday, Congress unanimously approved the Authorization for Use of Force against Unpleasant Lifeforms (AUFUL) joint resolution, effectively declaring war on what the Obama administration calls “the heebie-jeebies.” After signing the resolution into law, the president will have full authorization…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Congress Declares Global War on ‘The Heebie-Jeebies’
Posted in World News

Anderson Cooper Vows to Snorkel Indian Ocean to Find MH370, Boost Ratings

Atlanta – CNN, in their never ending coverage of the missing Malaysian plane tragedy, thinks they have figured out a way to keep the story interesting, boost ratings, and possibly videotape the disappearance of one of their most beloved personalities….

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Anderson Cooper Vows to Snorkel Indian Ocean to Find MH370, Boost Ratings
Posted in Politics

An intellectual discussion on capital punishment, how foreign talk is turning us gay

Some people have brought up the issue of morality considering the death penalty. Some even have the audacity to say that “thou shall not kill” is an integral part of the Bible. To these heretics I respond with a decisive…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! An intellectual discussion on capital punishment, how foreign talk is turning us gay
Posted in Sports Scandals

Dallas Cowboy’s Fans Unite to Pray for Racist Remarks From Jerry Jones

Dallas – In light of the lifetime ban placed upon Donald Sterling, owner of the LA Clippers, after his recent racist remarks, fans of the Dallas Cowboys football team have come together in prayer hoping their sorry-ass owner, Jerry Jones,…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Dallas Cowboy’s Fans Unite to Pray for Racist Remarks From Jerry Jones
Posted in Politics

Ted Cruz, Mike Lee Propose “Marriage Only for the Fertile”

Ted Cruz (R-TX) and Mike Lee (R-UT) introduced legislation to ban all marriages and nullify all existing marriages in which the couple cannot conceive or chooses to be childless for any reason. “Marriage is only for procreation. If a couple…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Ted Cruz, Mike Lee Propose “Marriage Only for the Fertile”