Posted in Politics

After a Day of Spinning, Jay Carney Requires Nearly a Pharmacy to Sleep at Night

Washington, D.C. – After an average day of spinning details of current events to make the President look good, no matter how bad the situation, White House spokesman, Jay Carney, needs practically an entire pharmacy to help him sleep at…

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Posted in Celebrity Gossip Television

Julianna Rose Maurelio, Stephanie from LazyTown, Dead of Apparent Suicide Overdose

Beloved and coveted former child actress and sex icon Julianna Rose Maurilio was found dead in her Bangkok apartment where she was staying while filming an upcoming feature. “Stephanie [from] LazyTown was on TV, I’m told,” said coroner Panupong Mantri….

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Posted in Celebrity Gossip Gadgets & Gizmos

Cooper Brand Pooper Scoopers are Super-Duper Cooper Scoopers

Montgomery County, Pennsylvania – Assisting residents in cleaning up the debris left behind from their crushed dreams of having locally born celebrity, Bradley Cooper, win an Academy Award are Cooper Industries’ pooper scoopers that have been flying off the shelves…

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Posted in Entertainment Talky Pictures

Godzilla: A Freaky Movie Review of a Freaky-Deaky Film

I’m going to tell you up right up front that I have been a Godzilla fan since the first time I laid eyes on The Man in The Rubber Suit. Will Rogers has absolutely nothing on me: I’ve never met…

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Posted in Politics

John Boehner Found Mummified in Tanning Bed

Washington D.C. – Speaker of the House, John Boehner, known for his orange hue and lack of spine when it comes to politics, was found this weekend in a dried-out, mummified state inside a tanning bed at a local salon….

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc Entertainment

Pink Floyd to Release Children’s Bedtime Book: Dark Side of the Mattress

London – After decades of churning out original, trippy, bizarre and beautiful music and selling kazillions of albums, Pink Floyd have announced they intend to release a children’s book this summer. Titled, “Dark Side of the Mattress”, the book promises…

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Posted in Television

Jake, From State Farm, Sues State Farm For Ruining His Dating Life

Bloomington, IL – The actor who plays “Jake, from State Farm”, we’ll call him Jake, from State Farm, in the famous insurance firm’s commercial, is suing the company for stereotyping him as “hideous” and ruining his love life. The actor…

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Posted in Opinion/Editorial Society

“Yucky World” with Dick and Janey: Feds to tax bowling jackpots

Announcer: With the federal highway system continuing to deteriorate, President Obama has been looking for new ways to raise money including collecting tolls on the Interstates. Administration tax specialist Mr. I.R. Esse will be discussing this with Dick and Janey,…

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Posted in War Zone World News

Putin Drags Russia Back To The Czarist Times

We thought the Cold War was over. Now Vladimir Putin has taken his nation back beyond that to the time of the Czars. He himself is the new Czar. No joke. The man who tried so hard to show the…

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Posted in Talky Pictures

“I am not Seafood. I am… a Man”

When comedian Mel Brooks decided he wanted to take a break from comedy and produce a serious film, he settled on the story of Joseph Merrick, the famed “Elephant Man” of the Victorian England sideshow circuit. When it came to…

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Posted in Politics

Americans Debate Whether they Get Stuff Done

Dateline: WASHINGTON—Politicians rallied on Get Stuff Done Day, to reassure the American people that their government is in working order. Many boasted of their accomplishments while in office, describing in great detail the stuff in question.

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Posted in Entertainment

NYC to Name “New Yorker You Least Want to Run Into” Award After Alec Baldwin

New York City – The New York City Visitor’s Bureau has decided to begin handing out an annual award designed to reward a recipient, while at the same time alerting the public to a person who, should they see him…

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Posted in Entertainment Talky Pictures

Breadsticks Power Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Remake

New York City, New York – Heroes in a half shell, breadstick power! This is the updated catchphrase in the newest remake of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, scheduled to be released in the United States on August 8th. The film…

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Posted in Entertainment

Jay-Z Forced to Rewrite “99 Problems” After Sister-in-Law Becomes #100

New York City – Famous rapper Jay-Z thought he had it made. Married to one of the most famous people in the world, singer Beyonce, the wordsmith has been enjoying life since 2004 when he announced he only had ninety-nine…

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