President Obama Vows to Punish the Guilty in VA Scandal, Unless They Happen to be Federal Workers

Washington, D.C. – President Obama sternly admitted that no one in the country is more outraged than he over the news coming out of the VA scandal in which numerous veterans have lost their lives waiting for medical care. Nobody bought it, of course, but he still said it.

What the President meant to say was that if any of those responsible for denying care to veterans worked in the private sector, they would be punished to the fullest extent of the law.

Government workers who are found to have participated in criminal behavior will be severely punished by having their bonuses reduced by ten percent.

The President made it clear during his speech, which should end the scandal due to the very fact that he addressed the subject in a speech, that this type of misconduct will not be tolerated in America.

Although many federal employees are hard-working, any federal workers found to be involved in maintaining secret waiting lists on veterans will also have their time allotment of eight hours a day watching porn on the job reduced to only six allowable hours per day.

It certainly appears the President is determined to put the fear of himself into his workers.

It is rumored that most federal employees would rather be sent to jail for any crimes they commit than endure the hellish working conditions the President is threatening to impose should any wrongdoing be uncovered.

Should any government workers be charged with any illegal activities related to the VA scandal, they will only become aware of it after reading about it in the press. This is the only way they have of finding out they have committed crimes – and they are always the last to know.

At this time, Mr. Obama is working hard on getting to the bottom of the scandal by searching for solutions on upscale golf courses around the country.

Author: E. Williams

Just a smart ass by nature who uses humor as a defense mechanism to get through this wonderfully confusing thing we call life. Trying to make people laugh is pretty cool. Succeeding at it is the very best! That's it. What more do you people want from me?!