Month: May 2013
Wife Fails to Give Doves to Priest, Damned (comic)
Ever wondered what girls learn when they go off to a separate class while you’re busy learning about resisting the temptation to masturbate yourself blind? They’re learning about why their girly things happen, and you don’t want to know about…
Anti-Tax Crusaders Shocked IRS Would Question Them
Tea Party political activity groups, known for their hardline anti-tax position, were singled out by the IRS for scrutiny. “It’s crazy,” says anti-tax crusader and Wisconsin Tea Party head Colin Felcher. I can’t imagine a single reason why they’d think…
Breaking: Washington Will Ditch Offensive Redskin Mascot for 2013-14 NFL Season
Landover, Maryland: In a decision reached last week by franchise owner Dan Snyder, The Washington Redskins will kick off the 2013-2014 season with a new name and mascot. The official date for the name change is July 25, the same…
There Are Only Two Ways Divorce Can End (comic)
If you’ve ever known someone who has been married, you know the pitfalls they face. An aging and perpetually less attractive spouse, inability to conscionably be with other sexual partners, and a general malaise that sits over your life like…
Record Number of Muslims Converting to Hispanic
In the early 20th century, the rage was anglosizing. Making your immigration feel seamless by pretending to be from a different part of Europe. Today it’s gone beyond the color barrier, and many Muslims would just rather be mistaken for…
Bangladeshi Woman Rescued After 17 Days Told “Get Back to Work”
Bangladeshi rescuers pulled a garment worker alive from the rubble of a building 17 days after the collapse and immediately ordered her back to work. Referring to her time buried alive as “17 days unauthorized vacation”, the garment factory she…
Man Tries to Explain-Away Awkward Black Eye (Comic)
If you’ve ever been a guy, and I suspect about half of the population has (more like 70+% of our readers) then you know how awkward and embarrassing it is to show up with a shiner on your eye. Do…
Cute Cat Videography Now College Major, Viable Career Path
Forbes new power list of top college majors for 2013 features a new, though unsurprising, field of study: Taking videos and pictures of the cutest cats you can find and then posting them online in excess. This new category of…
Drunk Telephone Pole Hits Pedestrian
WASHINGTON, D.C. – Capitol Hill is under lockdown after reports that an intoxicated telephone pole hit a pedestrian walking by his position on Constitution Avenue. The assault allegedly occurred early Saturday morning after a pair of street lamps to the…
Hipster Suffers 2nd Degree Burns, Smug About It (comic)
Sometimes it’s good to be on the cutting edge, other times not so much. Hipsters – though you’ll never meet anyone willing to accept that label – love going against the grain, even if it literally pains them to do…