Month: March 2013
FBI to Boost Recruitment, Remove Fitness Requirement
WASHINGTON, D.C. – In an effort to meet the growing diversity of the nation, the Department of Justice has announced changes to physical requirements for FBI special agents which will replace regular running with power walking. Current requirements for selection…
Dogs must reduce drug sniffing, says Supreme Court
“I don’t want no drug sniffing dogs around here,” said Ms. P. Innuckope (not her real name). “I got nuff trouble with human junkies without them bringing their pets.” Ms. Innuckope was one of many that were relieved when the…
Immigrants Hesitant, Lukewarm to Christian Traditions (Comic)
We all know what time of year it is, so without further ado, here’s our holiday installment. Click image to see it full-size.
Guy In Starbucks Pretty Sure Job Interview Happening on Next Table
INDIANAPOLIS – Enjoying an orange mango smoothie at a Starbucks in downtown Indianapolis Thursday, local man Zach Needham was fairly certain that some sort of job interview – probably for a really high-end position – was taking place at the…
Spousal Argument Apparently Over Nothing (comic)
Do you ever get that feeling that you’re really arguing for no reason at all? This couple does but it all makes sense in the end.
107-Year-Old Woman Not That Same Sprightly 89-Year-Old She Used to Be
GOSHEN – Celebrating her 107th birthday recently, centenarian Gladys Cadwell admitted Friday that, by golly, she is not that same, zesty 89-year-old she once was. Waxing philosophical about those grand old times of 18 years ago, Cadwell conceded that she…
Jihadis Excited About Self-Driving Cars
Jihad organizers, coordinators and enthusiasts met this week in San Antonio, Texas, to advance their myriad causes. A panel discussion entitled “Sub-Suicide Bombings” brought up an interesting possibility; autonomous cars. Speaking from room 410 at the Henry B. Gonzalez Convention…
U.S. seeks to end flow of arms into Syria
In a statement that stunned observers, the U.S. Secretary of State, John Kerry announced during a visit to Iraq that it is asking its allies not to send arms and to prevent the flow of arms into Syria. The U.S….
Miami Heat Win Streak Ends–PBS Renews Telethon to Raise Awareness for Regular Season
Without realizing it, for the past month or so, the world was interested in the NBA’s regular season games. And all of the credit goes to one team: The Miami Heat. In case you just came out of a coma,…
Hawking Enlists David Copperfield to Demonstrate “Spontaneous Creation”
Hawking: Spontaneous Creation is the Reason Something is Here Rather than Nothing. World-renowned physicist Stephen Hawking, best known for his accessible books on the fundamental questions we all face, recently published his latest findings on a cosmological concept he calls…