Month: August 2011
A Candid Peek Into Sex Lives of the Candidates
The current contenders for the 2012 U.S. presidential election have already stated their positions on a range of key issues such as the economy, taxes, education, immigration, social policy, and national security. But one obvious question still remains. What are…
No New York Times on Sunday Bigger Disaster than Hurricane Irene
As Hurricane Irene barrels up the eastern seaboard toward New York, many wonder how New Yorkers will fare once hit by a category 1 hurricane, the likes of which they’ve not seen in years. Hurricane Irene is giving us an…
Discovery Of Male ‘Penis Brain’ Excites Researchers
Physiological scientists have made an amazing discovery in that man (and we mean specifically ‘man’ here, not ‘wo-man’) much like the dinosaurs of ancient times, possess a second brain located in an extremity of the body. Both man and dinosaurs…
Bachmann Claims Decisive 0.93% Victory in Straw Poll
AMES, IA —GlossyNews At $30 each, 16,892 Iowans were trucked to Ames for a day of politickin’ (locally it’s called ‘pot lickin’) and BBQ. A grand $506,760 was the total straw vote cash take for the GOPTea in Ames, Iowa…
Mubarak ‘Mummy Movie’ Planned for 2013
Famed Egyptian director, Khairy Beshara, has announced his plan to film a number of features about an undead Hosni Mubarak who wreaks havoc on his countrymen. The first in the horror series will be Curse of Mubarak The Mummy: A…
Obama Reaches Out to Republican Pinheads to Solve America’s Problems
WASHINGTON – Faced with increasing criticism from within his own party about his concessions to Republicans as part of the recent debt ceiling deal, President Obama yesterday attempted to explain the reasoning behind his approach during a meeting with Democratic…
Charlie Sheen Backing Rick Perry for President Because “He’s Smokin’ Hot”
It used to be that a person would back a Presidential candidate based on his voting record and his willingness to serve the American people. Honorable men and women would ask for your vote and in exchange, they would let…
Feds Considering Stricter Warnings on Booze Bottles
After 25 years of successful lobbying against warning label reform, Big Tobacco suffered a major defeat this week when the FDA announced that starting in 2012 cigarettes would sport new graphic labels depicting charred lungs and dead bodies warning of…
Paypal Founder Invests $1.25 Million to Create Floating Libertarian Habitat
Billionaires with more money than they know what to do with are flocking to a company known as Seasteading Institute to get in on the ground floor, so to speak, on building floating countries (oil-platform-like structures) where they can exercise…
Germany to Leave EU… for the Children
Stocks plunged worldwide and oil closed below $80 today on news that Germany will end its European Union membership effective 2012. Financial analysts and global security experts are unable to predict how the unexpected move will shape an increasingly interconnected…