Month: July 2011
Arabic Speling Bee Canceled for Education Concerns
Modernization efforts in post-Mubarak Egypt were dealt yet another blow this week, with announcement that the first ever Arabic spelling contest will not take place. Leaders of the fledgling coalition seeking to transition Egypt from military rule to a secular…
Man Released from Jail after Erroneous Arrest for Internet Porn Post
Rufus Simpson of Pascagoula, Mississippi was released from jail early Saturday morning after spending the night locked up on charges of internet porn posting. His accuser, Shirley Remquist of nearby Moss Point claims that she opened her Facebook page Friday…
Bachmann Rewrites Wikipedia on The Gays
STILLWATER, MN —EBBQ Asked to respond to Jerry Brown’s earth-shaking revelation that “history should be honest,” in relation to California schools educating students about gay culture, Rep. Bachmann quickly announced that she has just recently become personally involved in rewriting…
Pittsburgh Pirates “Sorry”; Promise to Stop Winning
Today, the front office of the Pittsburgh Pirates made a formal apology to Major League Baseball and all of its fans for having such a successful 2011 season so far. “We’re ashamed to say that, this year, we haven’t done…
Republican Senators Order Out for Chinese as Debt Ceiling Talks Continue
A reporter covering the debacle that is the debt ceiling talks has just published a story in his local hometown paper, The Times-Picayune, which helps shed light on what he believes is the number one priority coming out of the…
DSK in Desperate Need of New Housekeeper
Embattled ex-chief of the IMF Dominique Strauss-Kahn continues to defend himself against mounting sexual assault allegations. While Americans are quick to mark Strauss-Kahn as guilty, his compatriots have not adopted a similar view with 57% of France reporting they believe…
Insane Debt Levels suddenly Uncool
Just as no one knows the cause of earthquakes, sudden mass culture changes are a matter of great mystery to sociologists. History is rife with instances of these shifts. Communist Russia was seen as heroic, but then all of America…
GOP Claims Use of Categorical Denials Indicates Supreme Leadership Skills
The Daily Trough reports that Grand Old Party Speaker of the House John Boehner has categorically denied political and special interests in current GOP debt-ceiling strategies. A spokesperson on behalf of the party, who wishes to remain anonymous, has said,…
Amy Winehouse Found Dead – Rock N Roll Claims Another Casualty
It’s been revealed that British R&B diva, Amy Winehouse has been found dead in her Camden Town flat in north west London. At this point, there has been no confirmed cause of death, but some speculators are of the opinion…
NASA Workers Reveal Demands
It was thought to be a bittersweet moment as the last ever space shuttle mission landed flawlessly in the early hours of dawn that day. What began in the bold optimism of JFK’s challenge to walk on the moon had…