Posted in World News

Arabic Speling Bee Canceled for Education Concerns

Modernization efforts in post-Mubarak Egypt were dealt yet another blow this week, with announcement that the first ever Arabic spelling contest will not take place. Leaders of the fledgling coalition seeking to transition Egypt from military rule to a secular…

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Posted in Human Interest

Man Released from Jail after Erroneous Arrest for Internet Porn Post

Rufus Simpson of Pascagoula, Mississippi was released from jail early Saturday morning after spending the night locked up on charges of internet porn posting. His accuser, Shirley Remquist of nearby Moss Point claims that she opened her Facebook page Friday…

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Posted in Politics

Bachmann Rewrites Wikipedia on The Gays

STILLWATER, MN —EBBQ Asked to respond to Jerry Brown’s earth-shaking revelation that “history should be honest,” in relation to California schools educating students about gay culture, Rep. Bachmann quickly announced that she has just recently become personally involved in rewriting…

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Posted in Sports Sports Scandals

Pittsburgh Pirates “Sorry”; Promise to Stop Winning

Today, the front office of the Pittsburgh Pirates made a formal apology to Major League Baseball and all of its fans for having such a successful 2011 season so far. “We’re ashamed to say that, this year, we haven’t done…

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Posted in Politics

Republican Senators Order Out for Chinese as Debt Ceiling Talks Continue

A reporter covering the debacle that is the debt ceiling talks has just published a story in his local hometown paper, The Times-Picayune, which helps shed light on what he believes is the number one priority coming out of the…

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Posted in Politics

DSK in Desperate Need of New Housekeeper

Embattled ex-chief of the IMF Dominique Strauss-Kahn continues to defend himself against mounting sexual assault allegations.  While Americans are quick to mark Strauss-Kahn as guilty, his compatriots have not adopted a similar view with 57% of France reporting they believe…

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Posted in Politics

Insane Debt Levels suddenly Uncool

Just as no one knows the cause of earthquakes, sudden mass culture changes are a matter of great mystery to sociologists. History is rife with instances of these shifts. Communist Russia was seen as heroic, but then all of America…

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Posted in Politics

GOP Claims Use of Categorical Denials Indicates Supreme Leadership Skills

The Daily Trough reports that Grand Old Party Speaker of the House John Boehner has categorically denied political and special interests in current GOP debt-ceiling strategies. A spokesperson on behalf of the party, who wishes to remain anonymous, has said,…

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Posted in Entertainment Top Stories

Amy Winehouse Found Dead – Rock N Roll Claims Another Casualty

It’s been revealed that British R&B diva, Amy Winehouse has been found dead in her Camden Town flat in north west London. At this point, there has been no confirmed cause of death, but some speculators are of the opinion…

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