Republican Senators Order Out for Chinese as Debt Ceiling Talks Continue

A reporter covering the debacle that is the debt ceiling talks has just published a story in his local hometown paper, The Times-Picayune, which helps shed light on what he believes is the number one priority coming out of the Republican camp—the importance of a good lunch.

James Jefferson, no relation to Thomas Jefferson, has discovered that the Republicans are tired of the traditional American fare in the Senate lunchroom consisting of hamburgers and freedom fries, and have been ordering out quite a bit lately.

“Their take-out food of choice is Chinese, hands down,” writes Jefferson, “and they are running up quite a tab according to the owner of their favorite take out restaurant, Nu China Dynasty. In fact, several of the freshman Republican Senators have told him if they had their way, there would be nothing but Chinese served in the Senate lunchroom.”

“I honestly don’t think Americans know just how big a role Chinese is playing in keeping these Senators satisfied throughout the talks,” writes Jefferson. “It may be a tad on the expensive side, but the Senators are reportedly extremely satisfied with this alternative.”

The Nu China Dynasty is equally enamored with their new clients. So much so that they plan on opening franchises across America to make sure that the Senators get all the Chinese they want for as long as they want it.

Author: P. Beckert

P. Beckert's is one voice vying for frequency room at the top of the opinion dial. Angered and bewildered by many of today’s events, P. Beckert uses humor as a tool to fight against an onslaught of stupidity and ignorance that seems to permeate the airwaves and pollute the sensitivities of a once brilliant nation. You can find more at