FOX News, painfully aware of the hypocrisy behind their using of the motto ‘Fair And Balanced’ when it is obvious to all with at least two eyes in their head that they are a major blow-horn for right wing shills, is trying to come up with a slogan that is more true to their nature. “Let The Masses Have The Luxury of Ignorance” had already been used by Hitler, so they are forced to use their limited creativity to come up with a new one. Many at the station are angrily dogmatic about preserving the “Fair And Balanced” logo, but they tend to be the unbalanced ones who are in the majority. The clearer sighted ones realize the need for a change tend to quit and become Democrats, but there are still a few who, behind their coke bottled glasses, know that it is time to do some serious self analysis and call in image tweakers to do it for them.
Some of the possible choices being thrown around are:
- Proud Owners of The Republican Party
- We Think So You Don’t Have To
- Putting The “Right” Into Right Wing
- Feeding Fanatical Fan Frenzy For Free
- You’re Glad We Took Over
- Keeping Alive The Illusion Of Liberal Media Domination
- Bringing The Left To It’s Knees By Kicking Them In The Shins
- Brainwash? What Brainwash?
- We Deport, You Reside
- Avarice, Arrogance And Aggressiveness With A Smile
- Watch “Fox Friends with Benefits” at 6am EST
- Turning Half Truths Into Dogmas Before Your Very Eyes
- Bias? What Bias?
- More than Just Cranks For Jesus
- Making Machiavellian Politics A Reality
- Paving The Way To The Utopia Of Totalitarianism
- Turning Character Assassination Into A Fine Art
- Preparing The Way For A New Caesar In A New Rome
- Bringing Back The Dark Ages To Our Modern Times
Editor’s Note: While I can’t imagine there would be any sort of backlash on this fair, balanced story, I’d like to open a warm welcome to the discussion in the comments below. I’m confident there won’t be very many and they won’t be in any way heated, but there have to be some real gems that didn’t make the original list.