Month: June 2010
Moose Take Aim on Chickenhawk Ted Nugent
POINT BARROW, Alaska (GlossyNews) — Local Alaskan law enforcement agencies were shocked recently to learn of a plot by local moose to do in redneck rocker Ted Nugent during a concert here. The normally quiet, vegetarian moose have been in…
Kim Jong Il Punishes North Koreans with Live Broadcast of World Cup Match with Portugal
Pyongyang, North Korea (GlossyNews) -– The North Korean government struck an agreement with the Asia-Pacific Broadcasting Union to beam a live broadcast of the soccer game on Monday of the match between North Korea and Portugal. But instead of this…
The Helen Thomas ‘Chair of Journalism’ Award
WASHINGTON DC (GlossyNews) — Who’ll be chosen to fill Helen Thomas’s front row seat in the White House briefing room? With serious, big-time lobbying in full-out high dudgeon between Fox and Bloomberg, something has to give soon. It seems to…
Obama Picks Judge Judy to Decide Oil Spill Claims
NEW ORLEANS, Louisiana (GlossyNews) — Ever since President Obama and BP announced that BP is putting up an initial $20 billion to pay for any legitimate claims that are filed as a result of damages incurred as a direct or…
Alternative Gifting Ideas for Your Single Dad
Ok, kids, let’s look at the whole gift-giving thing for dad on Father’s Day in a completely different light. Face it, your dad has all the ties he needs, it’s summertime and therefore, too hot for slippers or a robe,…
Financially Strapped Families Turn Kids Into Meal Tickets on Reality TV
HOLLYWOODLAND, California (GLossyNews) — What is it about opportunistic dads (and moms) who see their kids not so much as a mouth to feed but as a meal ticket out of poverty? First there was Falcon Heene, the 6-year old…
Extortion Plots Pouring into FBI
QUANTICO, Virginia (GlossyNews) — Word travels fast in the criminal world. Since word of Joran van der Sloot’s arrest on charges of killing a Peruvian woman, the more intriguing back story of his ability to bilk $25,000 out of the…
Vamonos: Obama Gives Arizona Back to Mexico
TEMPE, Arizona (GlossyNews) — In a move of political bravado termed “Operation Andale”, U.S President Barack Obama has signed an executive order handing Arizona back to Mexico, creating a stampede of Mexicans into bordering U.S. States. While the white citizens…
Greek Austerity Plan Revealed – The Gods are Not Pleased
ATHENS, Greece (GlossyNews) — Today on Mt. Olympus, hearts were broken, tears were shed, and millennia long careers ended as the news was made official. In obedience to the EU bailout plan, Greece has reluctantly agreed; lots of gods and…
Fatwa Declared Against GlossyNews Writer
LONDON, UK (GlossyNews) — A Fatwa has been declared against GlossyNews as a reaction to the thousands of articles ridiculing the Taliban, suicide bombers, Muslim clerics, Islamic law and a host of other things that seem strange and humorous to…