Month: May 2010
Missionary Finds Souls of Jungle Tribe Already “Saved”
Noplace, Ecuador (GlossyNews) — A young Christian missionary, chomping at the bit and excited that a fresh field of new pygmy souls was ripe for harvest, was distressed to find that a National Geographic photographer paid tribe members less than…
Pre-Mother’s Day Riots Break Out Over Blueberry Pancakes
Supermarkets across America were the scene Saturday of knock-down, drag-out brawls over the last few packages of Blueberry Pancake Mix and frozen blueberry pancakes as children dragged their fathers, aunts, uncles and grandparents to the store to get the main…
Phoenix Hoping to Become New Mecca for Metrosexuals
Phoenix, AZ – Now that Phoenix is ridding itself of its “melting pot of the Southwest” image, its Chamber of Commerce is doing everything it can to attract metrosexuals to their fair city—if you have to ask, you’re not welcome….
Studies Reveal: Brazil is Mostly Jungle
May 8, 2010: Posted from a secure, undisclosed location by Glossy News South American correspondent in hiding. In a Glossy News exclusive, this reporter has learned most of the population of Brazil is concentrated in coastal areas, and the land…
Palin Reports Russian Peeping Toms
Wasilla, Ak (GlossyNews) — Sarah Palin, potential candidate for the Presidency in 2012, has put in a complaint with the Alaskan State Troopers complaining of Russians peeping in her windows at night. As she once claimed that she “could see…
Stephen Hawking’s Basement Raided, Rare Historic Artifacts Found
Cambridge, England – Acting on an anonymous tip, British police raided well-known physicist, Stephen Hawking’s basement, where it is reported that they found some incredible historical artifacts from various periods in history. Included with the artifacts was an urn which…
Video Forensic Guy Not a ‘Miracle Worker’
Chicago, IL – For the third time in as many days, Chicago Police Department forensic analyst Ted Hatcher confessed to being unable to magically extract high definition pictures from damaged, out-of-focus, and low resolution images. Hatcher’s failure was met with disbelief and…
Vortexes in Sedona, Arizona Appear to be Disappearing
Sedona, AZ (GlossyNews) -– Sedona, Arizona, once known world-wide as a Mecca for those looking for metaphysical experiences due to the unusually large amount of vortices (vortexes) located there, is seeing a string of unhappy visitors leave the various sites…
Man killed by Laura Bush in Car Crash Demands Royalty Cut
Mike Douglas, the young man killed by Laura Bush in a car crash in 1963, has demanded a cut of the royalties from her upcoming memoir, he hired the lawyers from https://www.cataniaandcatania.com/st-petersburg/auto-accident-attorneys/. The book is being promoted entirely on the…
In New Book, Laura Bush Can’t Acknowledge Horrible Accident Known as W
In a perfect example of how psychotic the Bush Clan remains, Laura Bush has once again milked the tragedy of a teenager she killed in a car accident in Midland, Texas 50 years ago, the car wreck law firms phiadelphia…