Month: April 2010
Society Attains The Ideal Black Man — But Still Wants to Lynch Him.
For decades white men have been awaiting the evolution of the Black man. Usually stereotyped (by Whites) into such roles as ‘step-and-fetch-it’, submissive post-civil war Negro, or the violent, drug dealing Super Fly. We’ve been treated to the jive talking…
Obama Sends Sarah Palin on Secret Mission
President Obama has promised to grant Sarah Palin her biggest wish ever-an inkling of credibility- if she can locate the most wanted man in the world, Osama bin Laden, and bring back his walking cane. The “secret” mission dubbed by Democrats as the “Bimbo in Limbo” is a way to show that President Obama is willing to work with Palin, while allowing her to do something productive besides running her mouth, although she plans to feed her fans inflammatory statements via Twitter during the entire process.
Africans Risk Their Lives to Stay Clean
Kampala, Uganda (GlossyNews) — Nothing But Nets, a campaign website driven by the passion of it’s members who donate money to buy mosquito nets for African children, has reported in a finding that in most instances donated nets are cut…
Ronald Reagan Inc to Run for President
REAGAN LIBRARY, SIMI VALLEY, CA (GlossyNews) — The Ronald Reagan Centennial Committee is planning a two-year presidential candidate run up to the 2012 elections. The RRPF, Inc. (Ronald Reagan Presidential Foundation) is a corporation in the most recent 2010 Supreme…
GOP Brings Out the Gimp in BSDM Club
Hollywoodland, CA (GlossyNews) — On its website, California’s Voyeur Club bills itself “an elegant, discrete setting where fetishists visually enjoy a full immersion in all aspects of the lifestyle.” That was the good old days, before last week. Unwanted publicity…
Trustafarians on Spirit Quest Disappear in Jamaican Jungle
Kingston, Jamaica (GlossyNews) — The disappearance of two Trustafarians in the jungles of Jamaica has sent a mild panic through wealthy families in the U.S., who sort of wonder where their own dreadlocked dodos might be hanging out. A few…
CBS to Air New “Sonny” and Cher Show
Carmel, CA (GlossyNews) — In a blast from the past, CBS is planning a new version of the Sonny and Cher Comedy Hour starring recently masculated Chaz Bono as “Sonny.” David Cassidy, who will also co-star on the show, says…
New Old Age Replacing New Age as New Age-Old Age
Kuala Lumpur (GlossyNews) — In the blink of an eye, the New Age will be over, and the New Old Age will take over. Sources close to the divine greatness himself known only as a whisper have confirmed that before…
Census Bureau Sued for Unfair Labor Practices.
Washington, DC (GlossyNews) — Hundreds of current and former 2010 Census workers filed a class action law suit today in Federal District Court charging the United States Census Bureau with a pattern of unfair labor practices against its employees. Specific…