Camp David (GlossyNews) — President Obama has promised to grant Sarah Palin her biggest wish ever -an inkling of credibility- if she can locate the most wanted man in the world, Osama bin Laden, and bring back his walking cane.
The ‘secret’ mission dubbed by Democrats as the ‘Bimbo in Limbo’ is a way to show that President Obama is willing to work with Palin, while allowing her to do something productive besides running her mouth. Palin, however, still plans to feed her fans inflammatory statements via Twitter during the entire process.
Some arrangements are already in place for the journey. For example, Palin is bringing along her hair stylist, known as the “Mullet Master,” and her manicurists to keep her claws in good shape. Also tagging along is her voice coach, an impudent five year old girl training Palin to produce a pitch perfect ‘na-nana-na-na’ upon her triumphant return.
In typical Palin PR fashion, her handlers are embedding a Fox News reporter into her entourage and are positioning her journey in the media as an epic 40 Days in the Desert with Sarah Palin that juxtaposes her journey in the desert with that of Jesus, and while Satan may continue to tempt her with Greed, Pride and Envy, there won’t be any fasting or wild animals to deal with, and the chance of God speaking to her is zero.
When asked for comment, Palin exclaimed excitedly in her famous ‘nails on a chalkboard’ screech, “I know they have a lot of poppies… and you can see Russia from there… right?”
Obama’s team has declined to spend valuable tax dollars on security claiming that Palin is a big girl and should be able to take care of herself.
The patented screech. For use in terrorist torture, to simulate hell, as an alternative to the timeout chair:
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