Month: January 2010
Dick Cheney Blasts Americans for Letting Terrorists Win
WASHINGTON, D.C. – Former Vice President Dick Cheney blamed Americans yesterday for “being in bed with” terrorists. “The people of this nation are as much to blame as their pusillanimous, light-skinned president for delivering the head of democracy to the…
Simon Cowell to Leave American Idol for Walmart
HOLLYWOOD, CA — Wednesday afternoon, American Idol sensational judge Simon Cowell announced that concluding the up and coming season he would leave the popular show. The announcement didn’t come as much of a surprise to the entertainment industry or the…
The Real Reason Rush Limbaugh Was In The Hospital In Hawaii
A new insight into Rush Limbaugh’s mysterious recent hospitalization has come to light. Originally reported as being a possible heart attack, it now appears that Mr. Limbaugh actually got a pummeling. Just ‘happening’ to be in Hawaii at the same…
Gov Sanford Takes Leave After SC House Censure
Columbia, SC (GlossyNews) — Governor Mark Sanford was censured Wednesday for his inappropriate behavior and th disgrace, shame and dishonor he has brought to the Office of Governor of South Carolina during his sordid affair with an Argentine woman. Sanford…
McGwire Admits to Using Prayer to Gain Competitive Edge
NEW YORK, NY (GlossyNews) — During a fifty-minute interview with Bob Costas on the MLB Network yesterday, former St. Louis Cardinals slugger Mark McGwire confessed tearfully that he had turned to prayer in order to treat injuries that had kept…
Sarah Palin Becomes Climate Change Expert at Fox News
BREAKING NEWS – Fox News has taken the plunge(errr) and has hired Sarah Palin as a contributor to take on some of the most controversial issues of our time, including climate change. Satirists and comedians were said to be partying…
Special Hell for CEOs Created
God Almighty in close association with Satan has created a special hell for CEO’s and other business leaders who have helped to create the present worldwide financial meltdown (it seems Satan himself couldn’t stomach the gall of these money-engorged maggots…
Palin Signs Deal With Fox News…Then Quits.
Simon Cowell Leaving American Idol for Good
When asked why he was leaving American Idol, Simon Cowell coyly replied, “I’ve got other irons in the fire and it’s just time for me to go.” But sources close to the star claim that, like his fellow judge, Randy…
Alert – Redneck Right Wingers Have Learned To Type And Have Infiltrated The Internet
ALERT! ALERT! Hard right rednecks have learned to use the Internet and even more horrifyingly the comments section of Glossy News. Someone has taught them to type and in some cases even to spell. They are swiftly learning to use…