Posted in Environment

Mammoth Crap May Hold Key to Global Warming

Ever since Al Bore’s ‘A Convenient Pile of Bullshit’ movie won an Oscar for the best work of fiction in Hollycrud’s prestigious Academy Awards ‘Propaganda and Scaremongering’ category the eco-fascist AGW alarmist lobby has been searching for anything that might…

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Posted in Entertainment Travel

Turn on the Wong Street to See Historic Fire Lookout

If you’re ever in up-city Helena, Montana and think you might be lost, there’s a good chance you are, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t good things to see. By “up-city” I really mean “up-hill” and I know because even…

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Posted in Celebrity Gossip Entertainment Top Stories

Lloyd’s of London Insures Adam Lambert’s Crotch for $1 Million

Los Angeles, CA – Lloyd’s of London (Lloyd’s), perhaps best known for its unusual insurance policies on various body parts of the rich and famous, including Tina Turner’s legs, Celine Dion’s vocal chords, and burlesque stripper, Tempest Storm’s breasts, has…

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Posted in Politics

US First Lady Tops Google Porno’ Search

Google has issued a provisory apology to the White House regarding a controversial photograph of Michelle Obama – which certain prudish official and media sources – including the Rednecks Gazette, the KKK Monthly, the Jesus Crust Church of Latter Day…

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Posted in Serious Commentary

Chinese Media Censorship VS. American Media Censorship

If you have lived in China for a while, you will notice that its media is heavy-handedly censored by the government. Media Censorship in China proves to be very annoying at times. Commercials during children’s programs do not advertise the…

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Posted in Politics

Mandelson McScandalson’s (Pathetic Excuse for?) Last Stand

Gordon ‘Incapability’ Brown is getting lambasted by demands to have a bit of a Cabinet reshuffle and make the current incumbernt Foreign Secretary, David Millipede, Chief Tea wallah while elevating Business Sec’ Lord Peter Scandalson to the vacated post in…

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Posted in Biz News

Adam Lambert Quells Concerns on Dubai Credit Crunch

Long having been regarded the financial heart of the Middle East, Dubai rocked world markets this week with announced uncertainty on servicing some $60 billion in debt. So today’s further information was heralded as calming news that will facilitate market…

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Posted in Crime

Con-Com’s Phone System Thwarts Jailers, Criminals Not So Much

Sir Jarvis Armitage-Shanks, the chairman of HM Scallydale Prison’s Independent Monitoring Board, told the media that illegal phones are fuelling jailbird drug trading and turning honest penitentiaries into hotbeds of crime. Pontificating to reporters that the only way – in…

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Posted in Society

Ask Hank: Republicans = Swoony Churchgoers

Hey Hank, It’s become a toss-up for me here and thought you could help out, if you want… I am and have been an atheist for most of my life. I just can’t get into the whole swoony churchy thing….

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Posted in Serious Commentary

American Democracy (What is it, What Does it Mean?)

When Alexander Hamilton signed the Constitution of United States in 1775, he defined democracy and freedom in the following way: “The sacred rights of mankind, [human freedom,] are not to be rummaged for, among old parchments, or musty records. They…

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Posted in Environment Technology

French Court Labels Monsanto ‘Serial Liars’, Weeds Uninjured

The Conseil d’Etat, France’s highest court, has ruled that U.S. agrogarchy bully-corp Monsanto has been lying through its proverbial teeth concerning the safety record of the best-selling weed-killer, Phuck_Up. The court confirmed an earlier judgment that Monsanto had falsely advertised…

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Posted in Television

Glenn Beck’s Daughter Sells Daddy’s Drool on E-Bay

Learning that his middle daughter was jonesing to go to Columbia University, Glenn Beck refused to pay for her tuition, stating “if you want to attend some hippie, liberal, communist center of lower learning in the middle of freaking Harlem,…

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Posted in Biz News Human Interest

Wal-Mart To Offer Sex Toys

Bentonville, Arkansas – Wal-Mart Corporation today announced that they are preparing to sell sex toys in select stores around the country. The mammoth retailer spent a full year on customer research and reached the conclusion that in select rural markets,…

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Posted in Health Politics

Zambia’s Political ‘Porno’ Pantomime

The topsy-turvy world of African patronage politics and the executive rule of law have just received not only a good shake up but a sound and square kick in the proverbial goolies – with Zambian President Rupiah Jaffacake being equally…

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Posted in Serious Commentary

Why the Middle East War will continue never-ending support & funding

People’s natural social instinct to cognitive flaws — a few main ones Accepting More Responsibility for Success Than Failure, for Good Deeds Than Bad Time and again, experimenters have found that people readily accept credit when told they have succeeded…

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Posted in Crooked Cops

Courts: Police Authority Can Be Sexually Transmitted

Atlanta, GA, (GlossyNews): A Federal Court of Appeals today set a stunning new precedent with their decision in the case of Mego-Mart, et al v. Doe. According to the unanimous ruling, official law enforcement powers, and, specifically, police arresting authority,…

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Posted in Entertainment

As Economy Goes Down, Prostitutes Don’t

NEVADA – It’s no secret that the U.S. economy is not in the best of shape. Between the sub-prime mortgage crisis, the credit crunch, the soaring price of oil and the weak dollar, times are tough and getting tougher all…

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Posted in Celebrity Gossip

White House Party Gate Crashed by ‘Vulgarians’

US Secret Service agents today refused to be interviewed by Jacko McScrunt, – the Scallies and Yobs page columnist for the International Daily Shitraker – who was investigating reports that a couple of scumbag social climbers trespassed last night’s state…

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Posted in Making Headlines

Scientific Weekly: Orwell’s Oceania Discovered off Coast of Washington, D.C.

Ocean Explorers have discovered what appear to be the ruins of a section of the Orwellian continent of Oceania off the Coast of Washington, D.C. Michele Bachmann is attempting to tie the discovery into her theory that Obama’s administration is…

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Posted in Society

Problem Seekers Look no Further, Hank Offers Advice

Listen all you wayward citizens of the world, a new day dawned a couple months back, and the answers to your questions is here. His name is Hank, and he will tackle anything you can throw at him. But Hank…

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