US First Lady Tops Google Porno’ Search

Google has issued a provisory apology to the White House regarding a controversial photograph of Michelle Obama – which certain prudish official and media sources – including the Rednecks Gazette, the KKK Monthly, the Jesus Crust Church of Latter Day Bakers and Playboy’s Amish edition columnists – have labelled ‘racially offensive and pornographic’ – that appears at the top of the browser list when net users search for images of the US First Lady.

The web browser giant placed a notice over the image titled “Offensive Search Results”, stating: “Sometimes our search results can be offensive – and in this case we agree – use the site’s virtual barf bag if Michelle’s picky makes you puke.”

However Google refused to remove the picture from its search results citing the Freedom of Information Act and the fact the photo was already posted in the public (or pubic) arena by further commenting “Well, if that’s what the porky slapper looks like in her slutty lingerie then it’s her own fault for posting the piccy on her Facebook homepage.”

Snott Rubixcube, a spokesman for Google, informed Pox News as to how the image of Michelle – posing in Lycra lingerie in the White House’s East Wing BD/SM playroom – ended up as top result for the ‘Wife of President Barack Obama’.

“It’s all based on complicated computer algorithms utilising a legion of factors to calculate a page’s relevance to a given query.”

“In this case, due the skin-revealing photo copied from the First Lady’s Facebook photo album, whoever posted it on Google attached links to the ‘Black Juicy Sluts’ and ‘Kinky Kenyans’ websites frequented by serial masturbators – hence why it has received over six million hits in the past 24 hours.”

“Now that really goes to show how many chronic wankers are out there, mouths agog, fantasising over some erotic black female flesh.”

Do you think the image of Michelle Obama should be removed? Should search engines take more control over offensive content? Do you think Michelle needs to stay off the peanut oriole cookies and get her fat lardy ass down the gym – or check in for a major liposuction procedure? What’s your view of Michelle’s dentistry – does she have more teeth than a piranha? Do Michelle’s buns qualify her as a Hottentot Venus pin-up? Did you get a hard-on while viewing her Google piccy?

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Author: Rusty

Rusty's Skewed News Views are spoof publications, fired by the ironies of human nature and tempered with elements of satire and parody, and should not, therefore, be taken too seriously. These are inspired by traveling around the Earth more times than Skylab and composed while observing the inherent idiocies of Mankind. Thus lawyers be duly advised : All libel writs issued on behalf of offended humourless ego's and / or those blighted by unqualified arrogance herein lampooned may be addressed to : Rusty the Boddington's Badger, Igloo 27, Pasquinade Gardens, Penguin Parade, Ross Ice Shelf, Antarctica - or via TheSatireStall.Blogspot.com

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