Posted in Environment

Cap & Trade Compromise – Eat Pets for Carbon Credit

Doubtless 50% of the UK’s half-awake population have been brainstormed by know-all media pundits gobbing off about the forthcoming global warming propaganda summit in tropical Copenhagen next month – and may well have scratched their arses – and then their…

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Posted in Serious Commentary

Does God Exist?

What kind of Question is this? Are you Nuts? You might as well as ask a windy person, say, what’s the answer to: what’s the ultimate goal in life? why are we here? what’s the meaning of life? and so…

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Posted in Strange People

PA Prudes Ignore Carbon Footprint

Wanksie, Pennsylvania (Dingbat News) – Chlamydia Muffrot, a 94-year old grandmother, was tasered and handcuffed, then charged with ‘domestic terrorism’ by brain-dead Homeland Security goons for pegging out her laundry on a clothesline strung between trees outside her 18th Century…

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Posted in News In Your Briefs

Palin’s Book “Going Rogue” Defective, Recalled

HarperCollins has recalled all copies of Sarah Palin’s Book, “Going Rogue” and has agreed to refund the purchase price to anyone who wants it. According to a late-breaking press release, the title of the book is missing an extra word…

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Posted in Biz News

Sioux Tribe to Attack Wall Street from Within

It has recently been reported that the Lower Brule Sioux tribe of South Dakota has purchased the Wall Street investment firm Westrock Group. This marks the first instance of a Native American organization diversifying out of the gambling, jewelry and…

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc

Rogue Nation Throws Up a Little in Own Mouth

Fired up by Sarah Palin’s bestseller, Going Rogue, a grassroots movement appears to be taking root, one that embraces Ms. Palin’s style, her way of speaking, and her insistence on being an individual. “We’re selling a complete rogue package for…

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Posted in Strange People

Not Guilty – by Reason of Being Asleep

A husband who killed his wife by strangling her while he was purportedly asleep and dreaming about fighting off a gang of burglaring scally yobs who broke into his camper van to steal the latest version of the X-Box video…

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Posted in Serious Commentary

Rooting Out the Drug Problem

Sudhir Venkatesh, born in India, began to pursue his PhD in sociology at University of Chicago in 1989. He was studying under the eminent poverty scholar William Julius Wilson and volunteered to do field work on the causes of Chicago’s…

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Posted in Environment Technology

Breach in Time/Space Continuum Opens Portal to all 9 Circles of Hell, CERN Not Involved

Man recently donned the cloak of Creator and assumed the role of God. His manipulation of ORMEs, the esoteric sciences and applied quantum technologies saw Thomas Moore’s dream bastion of perfection a reality manifested. Utopia Inc., the next best thing…

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Posted in Crooked Cops

Cameroon Corruption: Force 9 on Beaufort Scale

Amidst a growing maelstrom of rumour, gossip and scandal Cameroon’s security chief Rastus Chuckabutty has finally admitted some 300,000 people hoping to get jobs in the police force have written, phoned or e-mailed him directly begging for preferential treatment –…

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc Politics

Hunk Obama Nominated for Porn Award

The nominees for the upcoming AVN Adult Video awards were released today, and in surprising move, the Adult Academy has nominated President Obama for Best Male Performer. It should be noted that the president is receiving the nomination without performing…

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Posted in Politics

Sarah Palin: Going Rove

If you will be kind enough to indulge me, I would like to propose a toast: Here’s to Sarah Palin; may she never – ever – go away. I am going to go out on a limb here: No woman…

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Posted in Serious Commentary

Animal Farming: Is there a higher moral order of humanity guarding us from unfettered, greed-driven capitalism?

Nature and life have always had its own rhythms, seasons, and quantities when it comes to growth and follow a “invisible hand”, which guides the global harmony and balance. However, when technology came into the scene of nature, it has…

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Posted in Society

Minneapolis Bridge To Somewhere, Presumably

Interstate 35W Bridge in Minneapolis, MN — Yes, you got it right! Gov. Sarah Palin was on the scene for the grand opening of the I35W bridge that really does go somewhere. “It is kind of on the cutting edge….

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Posted in Celebrity Gossip Television

21/12/2012: Oprah-Geddon Approaches

2012 is coming – approaching fast. A time to be afraid – very afraid – as the threadbare cliché goes. Actually I’d advise you to be more than very afraid – shit-scared would be more appropriate, in point in fact….

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Posted in Health Kidz Zone

Mall Santas to Goldman Sachs: Hand Over the Vaccine

New York, NY – In a jolly but firm tone, the Association of Mall Santas (AMS) has issued a formal demand to Wall Street giant Goldman Sachs to hand over all their doses of the swine flu vaccine to the…

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Posted in Politics

Rumpy Pumpy: E-USSR Presidential Favourite

Belgian Prime Minister Herman van Rumpy Pumpy appears to be the frontrunner for selection as the dystopic E-USSR’s first permanent president at a summit in Brussels this coming Thursday. The centre-right of left leader has a reputation as a canny…

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Posted in Serious Commentary

What is Wrong with our Legal System in America?

The main feature that separates humans from animals, in a world where humans possess “inalienable rights” and animals do not, is Descartes’ famous Cognito. However, I do not think it’s complete when Plato declared that it’s reason that defines us…

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Posted in Gadgets & Gizmos

Apple’s iBoob Set to Break Sales Records

Addressing a press conference at his corporate headquarters in California’s Silicone Valley, Steve Jobs, the company founder of Crapple, announced today that they has developed a breast implant that can store and play music. This is further being considered a…

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Posted in Celebrity Gossip

Depp Pirates Another Sexy Global Victory

Hollywood CA — People Magazine has ruled — Depp won! Pirates Beat Vampires! was the header online — with an eye-popping 6.3 million total votes cast! Johnny Depp, mid-40s, is the World’s Sexiest Man! Who were the contenders, aside from…

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Posted in Society

Ask Hank: Trailer Park Pursuit

Dear Hank, I’m pretty sure my sister in law totally wants me. She’s gross, but I guess I’d still go make it happen if I thought my girl wouldn’t find out. Doesn’t matter. I’m conflicted. On the one hand it…

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Posted in Religionism

Party Animal Gaddafi Goes Bonkers

Two hundred gold-digging Italian slappers bit off more than they could chew last Sunday night after answering a recruitment ad’ to attend a posh wine and dine shagfest do in the salubrious and elegant suburbs of exotic Rome. However canapés…

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Posted in Serious Commentary

The Advantage Small Government (in the epicenter of a Global Financial Crisis)?

Milton Friedman is a canonized saint (Nobel Prize) of modern economics, continuing a line laissez-faire, market-driven economy first started by Adam Smith. And culturally, America revered Friedman as a freedom fighter against the Soviet totalitarian expansions during the Cold War….

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Posted in Gadgets & Gizmos Kidz Zone

Robo-Rat: the Future of Service-Free Pets

Worried about getting your youngsters a pet for Christmas – a cuddly kitten or puppy –then face the moral conscience dilemma of having to go and dump it up the arse end of the wilderness a few weeks later –…

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Posted in Human Interest Sports Events

Building Overtakes Basketball… Poms Excel

The Women of Notre Dame officially opened their basketball season on the 15th against unranked University of Arkansas-Pine Bluff at the newly renovated Purcell Pavilion of the Joyce Athletic and Convocation Center. The 102 to 57 rout of UAPB was…

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