Month: November 2009
French Court Labels Monsanto ‘Serial Liars’, Weeds Uninjured
The Conseil d’Etat, France’s highest court, has ruled that U.S. agrogarchy bully-corp Monsanto has been lying through its proverbial teeth concerning the safety record of the best-selling weed-killer, Phuck_Up. The court confirmed an earlier judgment that Monsanto had falsely advertised…
Glenn Beck’s Daughter Sells Daddy’s Drool on E-Bay
Learning that his middle daughter was jonesing to go to Columbia University, Glenn Beck refused to pay for her tuition, stating “if you want to attend some hippie, liberal, communist center of lower learning in the middle of freaking Harlem,…
Wal-Mart To Offer Sex Toys
Bentonville, Arkansas – Wal-Mart Corporation today announced that they are preparing to sell sex toys in select stores around the country. The mammoth retailer spent a full year on customer research and reached the conclusion that in select rural markets,…
Zambia’s Political ‘Porno’ Pantomime
The topsy-turvy world of African patronage politics and the executive rule of law have just received not only a good shake up but a sound and square kick in the proverbial goolies – with Zambian President Rupiah Jaffacake being equally…
Why the Middle East War will continue never-ending support & funding
People’s natural social instinct to cognitive flaws — a few main ones Accepting More Responsibility for Success Than Failure, for Good Deeds Than Bad Time and again, experimenters have found that people readily accept credit when told they have succeeded…
Courts: Police Authority Can Be Sexually Transmitted
Atlanta, GA, (GlossyNews): A Federal Court of Appeals today set a stunning new precedent with their decision in the case of Mego-Mart, et al v. Doe. According to the unanimous ruling, official law enforcement powers, and, specifically, police arresting authority,…
As Economy Goes Down, Prostitutes Don’t
NEVADA – It’s no secret that the U.S. economy is not in the best of shape. Between the sub-prime mortgage crisis, the credit crunch, the soaring price of oil and the weak dollar, times are tough and getting tougher all…
White House Party Gate Crashed by ‘Vulgarians’
US Secret Service agents today refused to be interviewed by Jacko McScrunt, – the Scallies and Yobs page columnist for the International Daily Shitraker – who was investigating reports that a couple of scumbag social climbers trespassed last night’s state…
Scientific Weekly: Orwell’s Oceania Discovered off Coast of Washington, D.C.
Ocean Explorers have discovered what appear to be the ruins of a section of the Orwellian continent of Oceania off the Coast of Washington, D.C. Michele Bachmann is attempting to tie the discovery into her theory that Obama’s administration is…
Problem Seekers Look no Further, Hank Offers Advice
Listen all you wayward citizens of the world, a new day dawned a couple months back, and the answers to your questions is here. His name is Hank, and he will tackle anything you can throw at him. But Hank…