Categorized | Biz News

Adam Lambert Quells Concerns on Dubai Credit Crunch

Adam Lambert Quells Concerns on Dubai Credit Crunch

Long having been regarded the financial heart of the Middle East, Dubai rocked world markets this week with announced uncertainty on servicing some $60 billion in debt. So today’s further information was heralded as calming news that will facilitate market stability.

Dubai Financial Ministry spokesman Adam Lambert explained, “Dubai regrets if anybody took it the wrong way, but it was a necessary first step towards a greater plan.” Mr. Lambert went on to detail the debt ridden emirate’s roadmap for full recovery, and assured reporters it’s already well underway. Dubai is changing its name to Paris.

According to Mr. Lambert, new road signs are nearly complete and may be shipped from China any day now. Upon receipt, installation is expected to go smoothly. Once completed it should be a simple matter to let creditors know Dubai is probably around here somewhere, just not here.

Polling in advance of the change has been very supportive. While only forty-seven percent expressed enthusiasm about wearing a beret, an astounding eighty-nine percent were in favor of being snotty towards visiting Americans.

So far, global reaction to the plan has been generally favorable too. Speaking on condition of anonymity, Fed official Sam Buckthorn (1187 Wilshire Cove, Alexandria, VA) said, “Wow! That is so cool! Can’t believe we never thought of that! So we could just change our name to Panama or something, and walk away from the whole mess? I’m so going to get all over that when I get back to the office, you know, in January.”

In an unrelated story, reality showed up uninvited at a White House event today.

Share

This post was written by

- who has written 130 posts on GlossyNews.com.

I write gags for Glossy News when an idea pops into my pumpkin sized head. Don't make a big deal out of it, OK? I contribute to my local food pantry and you should to. You can check out my crazy adventures as an Industrial Engineer in Hooterville at libertiestaken.blogspot.com

.

2 Responses to “Adam Lambert Quells Concerns on Dubai Credit Crunch”

  1. P. Beckert says:

    That’s what you get when you play high-stakes poker in Vegas for over-valued American properties.

  2. Meera says:

    What? I thought Adam is American Idol’s Runner-up
    lol there must’ve been some of a mix up

Trackbacks/Pingbacks


Leave a Reply


We are also looking for a satire editor...

Check out one of our friends:

Check out links to even more of our friends...

Visit the “Old Version” of our Site

     
Still want more? Find thousands of buried satirical gems in our archives on the old version of Glossy News!

Follow Us!

follow us on Twitter



All of Our Categories:

Top Stories - Top Stories; Politics - Top Stories; Serious Commentary - Top Stories; World News - Top Stories; Biz News - Top Stories; War Zone | Horoscopes
Entertainment - Entertainment; Celebrity Gossip - Entertainment; Television - Entertainment; Music - Entertainment; Internet Tubes - Entertainment; Books, Newspapers & Misc - Entertainment; Movies
Society - Society; Health - Society; Crime - Society; Travel - Society; Crooked Cops - Society; Education - Society; Strange People - Society; Religionism - Society; Human Interest - Society; Kidz Zone
Science and Technology - Science and Technology; Science - Science and Technology; Technology - Science and Technology; Gadgets & Gizmos - Science and Technology; Environment
Sports - Sports; Scandals - Sports; Athletes - Sports; Events | All the Rest - News in Your Briefs - Making Headlines - Opinion/Editorial