Tag: Trump
Trumpisms 11.0
376 As Trump continues to stink in the polls, of course he will try to discredit them. He doesn’t believe in the North Poll or the South Poll. Even the polls of Polland are fake news. 377 Beware of shaving…
PARDON ME! Trump’s Notes: Short and Long Lists (Along with Wishful List) of People to Pardon
Trying to court women, President Trump just pardoned Susan B. Anthony. He also has pardoned heavyweight boxing champion Jack Johnson. But, if you think the only women and African-Americans he cares about are long dead, he also pardoned Kim Kardashian’s…
Phone Call Between Putin and Trump Regarding Value of American Lives
T: How much you paying them? P: $100,000 for each stinking American life. T: You’re shitting me. They’re not worth 2 cents. P: You pull my pud, Donny Boy – T: Feel good? Ha, ha! P: Hmmmmski… T: They’re SOLDIERS, for…
Trumpisms 10.0 by Richard Seltzer
335 Satan is a great composer. His sin-phonies are epic. Especially his Trumplandia in B Flat Minor. 336 Millions of teenagers are now having a premature senior moment — their gradu-wait-ion ceremony. 337 An apt quote from Oliver Wendell Holmes:…
A Majority of Americans Would Rather Repeatedly Shove Flaming Chopsticks in Their Ears than Hear the Words “President Howie”
HAMDEN, CT— Quinnipiac University released a poll early this morning showing that over 80% of Americans wouldn’t be comfortable with a President named Howie. The study, conducted in the wake of Howie Hawkins’ nomination as the Green Party’s candidate for…
Prophetic Bible School Civics Test: A Civics Final Exam Response from the Year 2000
[Last Section – 20 points] Choose one essay prompt and respond to it thoroughly and correctly after you have turned in the multiple-choice part of the test: 1) Detail the impeachment process, important during this last Clinton term, and critique…
Trump Signs Executive Order Banning All Masks
On Friday, President Trump signed an executive order banning all masks after he was photographed while wearing one, a “pleasure” he did not want to give the press, according to Trump. While the legality and practicality of enforcing this executive…
Trump Claims NYT Op-Eds Unfair
Washington, DC (NYT) A frustrated President Trump apparently unloaded on his advisors that the “Failing” New York Times recent publication of quite erudite Op-Eds by Joe Biden and Bernie Sanders is not fair. He was heard to lament, “my speciality…
Trumpisms and Virusisms 8.0
226 Suggestion — Instead of calling coronavirus the “Chinese virus,” let’s call it the “Trump virus” or “Donny’s hoax.” 227 How to enforce social distancing — add to the nation’s water supply a chemical that induces mild autism so we…
Trump Names Jared and Ivanka Ventilator Co-Czars
Washington, DC (AP) At yesterday’s White House press briefing President Trump made the stunning announcement that his daughter Ivanka and her husband Jared Kushner, by Executive Order # 1001, will assume the newly created positions of Ventilator co-Czars. The action…