Phone Call Between Putin and Trump Regarding Value of American Lives

T: How much you paying them?

P: $100,000 for each stinking American life.

T: You’re shitting me. They’re not worth 2 cents.

P: You pull my pud, Donny Boy –

T: Feel good? Ha, ha!

P: Hmmmmski…

T: They’re SOLDIERS, for Christ sake. LOSERS. They volunteer to get their asses shot off. The draft board tried to grab me for ‘Nam, and I said forget it. Get some hillbilly instead.

P: They first want $125,000.

T: No! Jew’em down to $75,000.

P: I don’t know…

T: Wait! Pay them $500,000 per cocksucking American life! That way you’ll go bankrupt and you don’t gotta pay nobody nothing. I done it four times and look where I am today!

P: Da. Western banks not touch you. So we lend you $1,000,000,000.

T: I’ll pay you back.

P: You fuckin  right you do or we play pee-pee tape.

T: I’ve worked off half of it by now.

P: Ha, ha! You still owe one billion. T: Don’t call me that!

P: Itski-bitski, Itski-bitski, Itski-bitski, Itski-bitski ,,,

T: (hangs up)

P: (To himself) Asshole!

The End

Author: Mark Wilt

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