DE BATE, NEW HAMPSHIRE —BobZaguy Recently, seven of the leading extremists of the Tea Party Republicans debated in New Hampshire.

Two hours is a long time to have to sit and watch, even with 3 beer breaks. So here’s a shorter distillation of what each person said relative to questions that were asked, even Tweeted, by a number of mostly anonymous people, John King included. Read the full story

CINCINNATI, Ohio (Glossy News) — Flush with recent success, the loosely organized AstroTurf Tea Party movement already faces a threat to its new-found power from an unexpected source. While some political analysts call the group a predictable splintering, others term it an insurgency from within. One thing is certain — the “We’re Blue 2″ Party is well organized and highly focused in its agenda. Read the full story

NOGALES, Arizona (GlossyNews) — The Tea Party, which claims it is less racist than a blind beggar, held a rally on the Mexico-Arizona border today to demand the US Government, which they claim spends too much money, spend millions more dollars to patrol the border and keep out illegal immigrants.

The rally was held at a private ranch near a gigantic wall the US Government already built to keep out Mexicans. Apparently the wall is not enough, because the Tea Partiers taped American flags all over it to really scare the bejesus out of anybody with brown skin getting near it. In another flourish of non-racism, the Tea Partiers taped hand-written messages to the TWENTY FOOT TALL WALL ALREADY BUILT TO KEEP OUT MEXICANS with ideas on how to stop immigration. Some of the messages were poignant, such as “the mesicns r returded” while others were to the point, such as “nuke Mexico.“ Read the full story

Why the USA will probably never legalize drugs. (Drug Consumer played by USA; Drug Lord played by Mexico)

USA: I want to stop! Go Away!

MEXICO: No you don’t! You love it! Let me in!

USA: OK, but just for a minute. You are so bad!

MEXICO: No, you are so bad! Read the full story

TEXARKANA, Texas (GlossyNews) — Melvin, or Mel, Gibson, a 75-year-old redneck from Rockdale, Texas, stood on the corner of Cameron Ave and Main this morning. He was dressed in the requisite T-shirt and stained khaki work pants and holding a battered and half nude 72-year-old Dorinda, his wife of 50 years, by the hair while he screamed racist comments at the top of his lungs.

As a Sheriff’s Deputy drove by, slowing down for a group of vultures eating a dead something-or-other in the middle of the road, Mel hollered that a pack of wild niggers was going to attack Dorinda for wearing a pink bra. Then he screamed and yelled about how the Jews were taking over the world, followed by something or other about Mexicans, loose women, the Gov’ment then Homos. Read the full story

Anytown, USA (GlossyNews) — Kirk Hassenbaum was always a shining example of bleeding heart liberalism. He went to a Liberal Arts college, traveled Europe with the backpack and Birkenstocks crowd, read poetry in coffee houses in San Francisco, rode a Greenpeace boat to a whale slaughter and even had a gay best friend for a while. But after he got a job working for a major corporation and invested in a sweet house in the trendiest part of the city, his bleeding heart started to heal, Read the full story

CHICAGO, IL (GlossyNews) — It’s a mistake we all make every now and then –the vicious berating of a female co-worker, the  insensitive demeaning of your child’s fourth-grade teacher, or the vile expletives directed at a random woman in a Safeway parking lot– all might very well be taken personally.

For David Whittle, this unfortunate misunderstanding almost got him into hot water at work. 

Having upset three female co-workers by scoffing at their contributions in Tuesday’s budget meeting, Read the full story

A white janitor working in the Alabama State Home for the Mentally Infirm is furious about the new law approved by Congress to give all Americans access to health care.

“We dun had enough of this danged cooned-ass President trying to take away all our freedoms and now he’s a tryin’ to give us helf care. And den I guess it’s gonna be our guns after dat!” claimed Billy Marshall, whose worked at the home as a trustee after being released from life long custody in 1984. “We’re all pissed off and as soon as I get a ride up to Birming’am I’m a gonna make em wicht they ain’t never messed with us white folks down here in Ayabama.” Read the full story

A sign board has appeared along a Minnesota road asking passerby’s if they miss the days of George W. Bush’s presidential rule. Apparently times are so bad for some that they will go to that length in nostalgia. Some seem to remember fondly the days when we believed in simpler things, like a ‘won’ war in Iraq in which no one counted the dollar cost of it or the body count on both sides. Read the full story

DENVER, Colorado — As an advocate for eugenics, former Colorado congressman Tom Tancredo is hardly a trailblazer. He follows in the footsteps of pioneers such as Strom Thurmond, George Wallace and David Duke. But what Tancredo lacks in originality, he makes up for in spirit. Read the full story

In large part it’s because “runaway Democrat spending” was the only thing, the last bastion of damnation, they had to campaign against, but more than tha,t they’re furious because the wastes slated for reduction are ones instituted by George W. Bush during his runaway spending days of the early 2000s.

“What are we supposed to do now?” asked a man holding a “Blacks & Jews Hate Jesus” sign in front of the Capitol, “Just admit we hate him because he’s a wise negro? I don’t think so!”

Legendary confederate statesman Strom Thurmond one time tried to trade away a holiday to celebrate the life of Civil Rights leader Dr. Martin Luther King Jr in exchange for a national day honoring Confederate General Thomas “Stonewall” Jackson, who was born on January 21, 1824.

Thurmond’s behind the scenes efforts late in his life were revealed this morning in personal papers only recently released to the public. Read the full story

Hayden, ID (GlossyNews) — Soldiers of Fortune, paramilitary buffs and serial killers can all revel in the new theme park started by Xe, the artists once known as Blackwater.

Fresh from getting off their convictions of killing 17 Iraqi civilians at a traffic circle in Baghdad, the now rejuvenated and non-incarcerated Xe is putting its money into a Disneyland-style park for those who bill for a kill.

“It will be great!” boasted Xe Park Planner Gene Cide. “We will have amusements here for all ages and both sexes so long as they are white. We would allow other races in, but we don’t know what they would do with guns in their hands. Better to leave them in the hands of the people who invented them.” Read the full story

Ozark, Alabama – Jeff Stills was a successful crop farmer from the lower state of Alabama that was raised on a farm he would soon call his own.  Unfortunately on the night of April 6th 1984 he flipped his General Lee replica(per his initial description). After further questioning he revealed it was in fact a ’78 Gremlin given to him by his aunt with a crudely painted “homage” to the General Lee at best.  He then entered a coma deeper than any Dukes of Hazard plot. Read the full story

I’m not a racist and I know that because I don’t know what racism is. I have friends who run, friends who don’t run, and friends who don’t even appreciate running. That’s about the extent of my understanding of “the race” thing. You can imagine my surprise when I asked where my “chocolate face” friend was, and everybody around me looked all aghasty-like. Read the full story

Images rarely, if ever reflect reality. All images are a distorted view of reality since they are highly stylized. They are not a slice of life but a constructed version of reality. Many theorists argue that the version of reality encoded in images of our media is that which serves the interests of the dominant group such as corporations and wealthy white men and women in America. Read the full story