Er, What?! Britain First Leader Acquitted of Hate Crime After Innovative ‘Transracial’ Defence

Britain First

White-fisted fash-resembling golden boy and BNP-loving beta bully bitch Paul ‘Golden Balls’ Golding, high on his recent right-wing entryist scam against and/or for the Conservative Party, is now high on a very different kind of narcotic…

And we don’t mean the usual Tory kind! 

After allegedly threatening a British Citizen with more or less unspecified ‘serious consequences’ for a hardly less vaguely delineated ‘crime’ against the UK, all eyes were on the court, to see if Garrulous Goldie would end up facing some rough justice in the clink; with one man against a few dozen, rather than the other way around.

On this occasion, however, Goldie-Looking-Bellend has come up TRUMPS, for want of a better way of putting it (or DOING IT!)…

By bandwagoning on precisely the same current of rampant, unhinged wokery that inadvertently empowered him and his ilk in the first place!

Pulling a classic Rachel Dolezal, with possibly a little hint of Red Ken and other key left of Combat 18 figureheads, Golding’s defence lawyer noted the following:

My client objects very strongly to the insinuation that he is racist. Within hours of being arrested for his alleged crime, Mr Golding discovered that he was transracial. This being so, the very idea of his being racist against the black community is a logical absurdity: how can you be racist against yourself? By that logic, we would have to ban rap records too, although my client notes in passing, that he is not at all averse to such measures in principle.

But be that as my way: my client, while currently on the fence about racial-fluidity, racial-non-binary, araciality and demiraciality, does currently, as of the very day and hour of this trial, identify solely and wholly with the black community, and is keen to represent himself very strongly as an indispensable activist for social justice who has spent many hours and even days lecturing the other prisoners about the perils of all kinds of racism, especially anti-white racism, anti-black racism, and transracialphobia.

After my client is acquitted, which seems inevitable, he will take a few moments to reflect whether it is necessary for him to expand his palette of his concerns, or instead to simply stick to what he’s good at: and as he assures me, he is indeed very, VERY good at what he does. I also take the liberty of reminding the good gentlemen and women of the jury of our colorful, diverse nation of all kinds of people groups, cisracial and transracial alike, that transracialphobia is an extraordinarily underrecognised crime, and the racism against transracial community is even MORE prevalent, and even less widely recognised, than racism against the cisracial community. Indeed, given the highly dominant role the cisracial community have in our society, it is even questionable whether ‘racism’ against the cisracist community even exists!

Either way, it would greatly lower the UK’s standing in the world, or at least in the UK, or at least in a substantial portion of it, if your court were to endorse racial supremacism by discriminating against Paul Golding and other renowned social justice activists, by failing to renounce the kind of institutional transracialphobia that blights so much of our world today, and by failing to recognise his lived experiences and the stigma, intolerance and exclusionary attitudes the transracial community so often suffer from bigoted gatekeepers.

Apparently unwilling to be perceived as racist, the jury unanimously acquitted Golding a couple of days ago. But having immediately gone on a Twitter splurge against homosexuals, Muslims and Chinese migrants, the police have now publicly issued a second arrest warrant for Golding, despite (or so our anonymous sources tell us) serious internal dissent within the police about the PR risks of arresting a transracial activist a second time. Although he is currently on the run, Golding is rumored to be again considering his options. Unnamed legal experts tell us that under the current court system, Golding’s prospects of acquittal are sadly all too high.
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Author: Wallace Runnymede

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